Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/20/2014 – JL Cauvin
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – JL Cauvin
Recorded 02-19-2014 – Release Date 02-20-2014
Production Number #1265
Adam is opening the show with some mandates to get it on, He’s plugging their technical 5 year anniversary live show from Las Vegas with Jo Koy.
Alison is telling the gang about the name CC’d on an email with Mike August, it’s the very guy Alison kissed almost 20yrs ago.
Adam is now asking her about the circumstances from their kiss, she’s telling Adam about the attention she was getting that night and Adam has a great iron euphemism joke that BB goes along with.
Adam is now clarifying this story, BB and Alison are filling in the details.
Alison is sharing how guys she once made out with who she saw as the cool older guys are now in their 60’s, Adam is sharing about a friend who likes milf porn, he’s hinting about Kevin Hench, Kevin has discussed this on the podcast, Adam has brought it up many times.
Adam is explaining his take on one’s wife busting them for watching porn featuring what she will eventually become, Adam is giving his car browsing on the internet and the cars he doesn’t look at.
BB just coined JILF – Junkers I’d like to fuck, in response to Adam not checking out shitty cars he has no interest in, such as Daihatsu’s.
Adam is now listing off some legendary shitty cars, including the Ford Grenada.
Adam is on a crazy porn preference riff with BB who was suggesting adults train their sons to find milfs appealing, Adam is now adding map humor and blinds comedy to his list of premises/jokes no longer used in TV and Film.
Adam is now asking Alison about their make out session and he wants to know if it will be awkward or embarrassing, she doesn’t think he’ll ever remember this unless it comes up now that she’s mentioned it on air.
Adam is sharing his theory on his parents and why they never wanted to see each other again, Adam says it donned on him that they were both humiliated by dating each other, nice grizzled cock one liner.
Adam says embarrassed to see each other is the best way to keep two people apart at a party.
Adam is now calling for a dating website for celebrities who want to fuck around but don’t want it to affect their marriages, he’s now sharing his logic for this idea.
Alison and Adam are now listing off possible partners within this a-list group.
Alison is telling the gang about her makeup trial that’s left her with two different makeup applications, she wants to know which side of her face they want to fuck, Adam is now evaluating it, and BB and Ace agree her right side.
Adam is now giving his “ah man animals they got it so good” the more you know thought, he’s telling everyone to “dig”.
Adam is making a point about the baggage of the past and the negativity that fills up your head, he’s using his interaction with Kerry Washington who he met and was a huge fan, but he does remember his dad telling him he’d never make 6ft tall and wouldn’t play football.
Adam is bringing up the freedom of animals, being the moment, he’s giving his take on Rodeo Bulls and how they can be distracted so simply after being so angry at the cowboy riding on them, Adam is doing some of his standup bit here, gold!
Hilarious “Jewel’s husband” one liner and Adam is sharing how the bulls get even angrier about the rope wrapped around their balls.
“I’m Killin’ the Clown, I’m killing Patch Adams” – Adam as the bull.
Alison has a great rope around the nuts comment and Adam is now using Molly’s desire to go outside and investigate the tree outside, Adam is sharing that even though Molly is on Chemo and has one paw with a sock over it, still wanted to start shit with barking at the tree.
BB has a killer IV unit one liner, they’re now joking about her taking her adjustable bed outside.
Adam is making his point about how easily Molly forgot about the tree drama after pooping and moved on, Adam is giving an example of what this would be akin to in humans.
Adam is now doing a live read.
Who the F Sell This S
1st Listing “Black Dukes of Hazzard Coffee Mug” sold by Greg, he’s now on the line and Adam is asking him about the mug.
Adam is now joking about people using “CASH!” as a way to negotiate down a price and how it doesn’t apply to nor benefit him.
Adam and BB are riffing up a storm about him flipping this mug on the market, Adam is asking Greg about his other items listed on Craigslist.
Adam is now sharing his take on Dukes of Hazzard and what the pitch must have been like.
Adam is now saying that the 3$ is a little rich for his blood, the lowest Greg will go.
Adam is now introducing the idea to Greg that he’s using a dead man’s mug, he’s saying that people don’t just get rid of their mugs, it gets to the church parking lot by some means, and Alison has a great bad luck joke.
Adam is now joking about Greg’s other gig as a window cleaner, he’s telling them about how it’s starting to pick up business wise.
Adam is preparing for an epic Shocking, it’s hilarious to hear him build this up so far in advance, and he’s offering a pee break for the gang.
Greg just revealed he lives at home with his parents and is unmarried, gold!
They’re further interviewing Greg a getting to the soul of the man and his Craigslist listings.
Adam is asking how his parents feel about his work and him living at home with them, Adam’s got a great Yorba Linda = The South of France when it comes to cost of living comment, BB is now riffing it with him, good stuff.
Adam is now sharing his theory about his mom and how she spent her life, a monthly nut so small she never had to go out and really extend herself or work hard, he’s getting to the goal of paying for things and improving one’s life, motivation for hard work.
Q and Ace
1st Caller Tom, from Tucson. Adam is now having a mix-up with the spelling of the city, Gary just fixed it.
Tom wants to know if Alison is planning on changing her name when she gets married, she’s going in depth on her thought process and eagerness to shed the Rosen.
Alison is now getting to the show, her branding and theme song, which those things alone made her realize she was never doing this out of love, solely to get a surname upgrade.
Adam agrees with her logic.
Adam is now sharing about the guy or two he knows who took the ladies last name, BB is surprised and wants to know how the discussions go, the one with the wife and the one with Adam more importantly.
Adam says it’s asking to scary homeless guy giving him some homespun philosophy, hilarious “lips out the window” variant of Adam saying “there you go” and he’s now sharing how that and “good for you” are sister phrases indicating something bad.
BB is adding “how about that” to the list, Alison is sharing her sisters desire to change both her and her husband to combine and change their last name to something new.
Adam is now sharing how he was pitching achievement day to his kids, Adam is giving the explanation he gave to his kids, including the Dahmer and Hitler references?
Adam is giving his take on birthdays vs. achievement day, the standard theme as discussed last year when Adam first started presenting this idea.
Adam would like a competition between the couple about changing their name, based on income, the loser changes.
Adam is sharing his Tuscon/Tucson dilemma.
2nd Caller Mike, he’s left handed and gets made fun for it, he wants to know if Adam gets shit for it too.
Adam says he has a few things that people try to get him involved in, organized atheism including pentagrams painted on cars, the pot thing is number 2 and Adam is talking about being on the pot advisory board.
Adam says pot and poi are the same, he doesn’t want them illegal but doesn’t want to consume them, and Adam is giving his take on people trying to setup new regulations instead of embracing freedom.
Adam is making a point about birth signs and horoscopes/astrology and how buying into it even on a macro level it can ruin your life, he’s making a point about skin color, left handed, being a pieces, just shit you got born into, don’t cling onto it.
“Nobody ever goes that guy is the best fucking pieces in town” – Adam, he’s killing it with people praising someone for something that nobody cares about.
Adam is bringing up the crazy women who show up at live shows and try to bond with Adam over being left handed, BB wants to know what kind of shit he gets, Adam says there isn’t any.
Mike agrees and Adam wraps up the call, Alison is making a point about how BB doesn’t let his brain tumor define who he is, BB is now giving his take on trying not to stick to the easy material and low hanging fruit, nice book plug!
Adam is getting to how the legacy things people inherent that have nothing to do with them and BB is further sharing why he doesn’t bring up his tumor to every podcast guest.
Adam is giving his take on how putting yourself in a group leads to trouble, he’s making a point about racial stereotypes and the trappings of an overly PC society.
Adam is telling the gang about sending the guys over on a lunch run, to the local wok joint, Adam wanted some brown rice, chicken, snow peas and broccoli.
Adam is explaining the menu items he was told about, every combination but what he wanted.
Adam totally overshot the number of “easy pieces” and BB is in the mix with him fleshing it out.
Adam is now inventing Benihana with a wok based on Alison’s suggestion.
3rd Caller _______ wants Adam’s take on “baby on board” bumper stickers, Adam is now connecting it to the signs in Los Angles showing fleeing illegal immigrants, warning about them as a road hazard.
Adam is now joking about not running over any families, not just Mexicans, mostly due to his high deductible.
Alison is in the mix and they’re riffing out the idea.
4th Caller Megan, She’s been getting pissed off by Leaf Blowers as of late, she’s sharing her dilemma.
Adam is now making a point that society has the balls to mention 3rd hand smoke vs. leaf blowers is insane, he’s now citing the exhaust that comes from said leaf blowers, Adam says it’s worse than an F-150 pickup truck.
Adam is making a perfect point about the airborne particulates floating around damaging air quality and the lungs of America.
Adam is saying that he thinks that if given the choice between a person smoking 30 yards away or leaf blower a doctor would tell you the cigarette was much safer.
BB has a question about the amount of leaf blowers vs. smoking happening at any given point in Los Angeles.
Adam says it would be smoking but the exhaust is still worse from the leaf blowers he’s breaking down all the debris in these clouds of particulate.
The last time this was brought up was on ACS #1032 in March of last year, BB was in the mix for that discussion as well.
Adam is bringing up why this never comes up, he’s got a great point about hypocrisy and politicians, and his logic is flawless.
Adam has a great “jizz blower” joke during a stripper DJ bit inspired by Megan’s work schedule, she’s telling them about her difficulty sleeping with these leaf blowers going off.
Adam is making a point about regulation and the “no can do” rule on pollution for everything else in society, BB is joining him for a riff about the regulations found on all the local beaches.
Adam is now doing a live read for Trunk Club, he’s using Matt Fondiler as his example once again, Adam is now bringing up the story of Matt’s dad’s shoes, and he’s telling it in full after referencing it with Matt on mic.
Matt is filling Adam in on all the free shoes he got in response to the first time this was brought up on air.
They’re now going to break
They’re back from break with JL making his ACS debut, he was in the video that was played on ACS #1249 last month.
Adam is now asking JL about his journey, he’s telling them about going from Law School and has a use of “rigors” that Adam transitions from with a great one liner, BB is now in the mix too, JL doesn’t seem to get the comedy of it.
JL is telling them about his college days and how that lead to Law School, Adam is now complimenting JL on taking Adam’s compliment, he’s giving examples of people who try to immediately refute any praise.
Adam has a great use of “Neurons Astronomy” and an even better “got your head in the clouds” reply to BB’s incredulity, BB even gives an audible “Nice!” in reply, gold!
Adam is now plugging JL’s podcast and Adam is explaining the long history of famous impressionists who have cited he’s unable to be replicated, Adam is now saying that those guys don’t often know the material, they can hit a nasally tone but don’t know how Adam’s brain works.
JL is telling them about his various impression, Adam is having him bust out the Obama impression, he’s setting it up as Obama as a strip club impression, they are laughing politely.
Adam is asking him about the web series vs. the new video of Adam vs. the Patent Troll, they’re now playing the video.
Adam is praising the video and BB digs it too, Adam is now hinting at some of the announcements they’ll have very shortly about the fight against the Patent Trolls.
Alison has a great “we’ve heard” cutting Adam off, she now wants to know about the material and if he studies the work of the people he impersonates.
JL is sharing how Louis C.K. is not his favorite comedian but is able to pick up specific ticks and phrasing very quickly.
Adam is now sharing the Joel McHale and Louis C.K. rule at the old KLSX ACS in 2006, along with Zach Galifinakis, comedy death according to Jack Silver.
BB is busting out the Fake Jack Silver and Adam is quoting in depth what Jack said about these guys and their talent levels, he’s now listing the various creative/production notes that non talented hacks who don’t deserve their job will use.
Adam is now going in depth on Jack’s lack of ability and yet how he still had to put his two cents in.
Adam is explaining how you’ll never head them admit their mistake.
Her Top Story is interrupted for some of JL’s “JB Smoove” impression, he’s sharing some of his Biggie Smalls that lead to the Smoove impression.
JB was actually performing after Adam at the Just for Laughs in Chicago in 2010, JB did indeed ask Adam about his sex life with his wife quite a bit.
JL is now breaking down his Dane Cook impression and saying that he uses inflection to train his audience to laugh on cue.
BB has a nice bit of FJS and Alison says that John Corbett and Dane Cook have now blended in her mind, JL has a pock mark dig for Dane.
Her top story is on a man who was fired after being filmed peeing in the sink at “Pizza Hut” and Adam is now bringing up the argument it will never be when you get in trouble for peeing in a sink, it’ll never be gravel or used motor oil, it’ll always be utensils.
Adam is sharing his take on urinating in the sink, the water savings and sterile factor that Drew hipped him to, he’s telling them about the number of times he’s been peed on.
Adam is sharing the other names of the “Johnny Pee Lately’s” who would cover him in urine over the years, BB is now riffing a Dr. Seuss book based on Adam’s words, gold!
Alison is now quoting Pizza Hut and Adam is mocking their 0 tolerance, JL has a funny dominos one liner and Adam is reacting to the idea of the restaurant now being closed, even Alison doesn’t get who is outraged by this.
Adam is now making a point about bugs, how some are cute, some are gross and he’s sharing the shopping cart fecal matter factoid.
Adam says that at his new house, the bathroom sink is too high and now he has to use the hall bathroom to properly sink pee, Adam says he’s gonna rework it.
2nd Story is on Homeland Security warning commercial airlines about possible shoe based explosives.
Adam is now bringing up something he doesn’t get, the proximity between shitty Englewood apartments right in the LAX flight plan, he’s got a point.
Adam is now bringing another reason why you should hate Russia, the lost shoulder mounted rocket explosives floating around.
JL is now bringing up the news story from hijacked Ethiopian airlines flight, he’s sharing how the Egypt air flight conversation left him uneasy, and Adam is now saying that terrorist act needed a publicist.
JL is referencing the “Manchurian Candidate” idea Adam had from earlier in the week.
Alison is telling the about the oxygen masks and when they do drop down, she was told by a twitter follower of just a case.
3rd Story is on the increase of minimum wage for GAP employees, Adam is now saying he wants models to look like models, and JL has a great UCB comment.
Adam says he wants model-esque models, not average looking people, Alison is now riffing the idea behind these types of choices and is quoting fictitious research studies in the voice of some douchey executive type.
Adam is happy for the employees and is moving on.
4th Story is on Bette Midler performing at the Academy Awards, Adam has a killer reaction to Ellen as the Oscar host.
Adam is calling her the female equivalent of Louis CK, BB is disagreeing and Adam is now sharing how he never impressed Adam as being hysterical when he was guesting on the show in 2006.
JL is referencing the comedy discussion from HBO between Louis, Gervais, Chris Rock and Seinfeld.
Adam is asking how and when he was designated funniest man on the planet, JL wants to jump in and Adam is making a point about young Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy and Seinfeld, how did Louis make it from 22-42 without any attention.
JL is giving his take, he’s sharing that he thinks he’s a mascot for uber authenticity in the Kardashian era.
Adam is making a point about Curb Your Enthusiasm and how the show always pays off with a 3 act structure vs. Louis the TV show that just kinda ends, hilarious Radiohead reference, JL has a nice Terrance Malik one liner.
Adam is sharing is “doesn’t trust people who dance” theory and why Ellen’s always seemed forced, he’s sharing how she didn’t dance at the wedding, Alison is helping him explore the curious scene of her as a wallflower at said wedding.
Alison is now wrapping the news.
Alison and Adam are now looking at the John Corbett and Dane Cook comparison, she says that one of the Schmoes Know guys shares the same face.
Adam is saying that you need to check out both of Dane’s comedy film classics, he’s sharing the plot of “Good Luck Chuck” to Alison.
Adam is joking about the scene with Dane taking an overweight woman on a date, Adam is now mocking how fat people are portrayed in movies, hilarious “shell calories” one liner from Alison.
Adam is now being super kind and sympathetic to overweight people while making a pint about how mean spirited it was, Alison is agreeing as Adam jokes about the 17k worth of lobster she ordered.
Adam is now making a point about 300lb linemen who don’t even eat that much.
Adam is now doing a live read and Alison is calling him on the stolen nature box.
Adam is now saying that they need to sit down and watch “Good Luck Chuck”, Alison just made by day by suggesting a “Basic Cable Commentary” my invention, Yay!
Adam is telling her about the scene with the jump start attempt from the movie, BB is jumping in and Adam says he was telling someone today about how angry he was at Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah in 2003’s “Taxi”.
Adam is now giving out the plugs and wrapping up the show.