Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/18/2016 – Alonzo Bodden, Live from the Irvine Improv

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 02/18/2016 – Alonzo Bodden, Live from the Irvine Improv

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Alonzo Bodden, Live from the Irvine Improv

Recorded 02-17-2016 – Release Date 02-18-2016

Production Number #1760

Show Page

Adam has a pre-recorded show topper from earlier in the day, he does a couple live reads and plugs.

Gary gets on mic to assist with a Mangria bar crawl plug.

 

They open the show from Irvine with Alonzo Bodden making his 14th appearance on the show, his 2nd live from Irvine.

Adam is now riffing about white vs. black criminals and talks about black guys amassing a higher body count than whitey but we mastered the serial killing.

Adam is talking about the ‘Grim Sleeper’ guy and calls him black as the night, Adam talks about his possible 100+ victims and ultimate serial killer tally.

 

Adam is now riffing as ‘Grim Sleeper’ talking shit to other white serial killers, Adam says black guys can’t stop until they’re number #1 in every sport and competition including this, snowboarding is still safe for now. Hilarious “white pride” month comment while talking about the Green River Killer’s tally of bodies.

Adam and Alonzo are riffing about James Stewart, Jr. aka Bubba Stewart and Adam says that this Grim Sleeper chap got away with 100 Serial kills due to profiling on white guys.

Adam has a funny riff as a white cop pulling him over, BB likes the idea of the officer only interested in harassing the black motorist, paying no mind to the hooker’s bodies.

 

Adam is talking about taking his dog to the beach, Alonzo comments on the transition from dog to man, both black, it got weird for a minute, Adam promises to have Alonzo escorted to his car after the show.

Adam is telling them about a mouse that wound up on the floor of their house, he comments on Phil and his penchant for putting everything in his mouth, he says that his wife’s beer spilled and he drank the whole thing.

Lynette marveled that the dog likes beer, Adam says that every one of god’s creature’s loves beer and pizza.

 

Adam talks about walking past the mouse again on the way out to their walk, he shares how told Phil to chase after Natalia and let him loose, Natalia was by the door and Lynette yelled for her to grab the leash and she pulled the same move that Lynette pulled when they had the Lamborghini Gallardo and he was attempting to let her take it on a run down Mulholland, instead they got stuck behind the steak bed truck full of day laborers at a steady 11pmh clip.

Adam is sharing how Phil picked up the mouse corpse and was treating it like a furry jawbreaker, Adam was trying to pry his jaw open while Adam yelled “drop it” and he shares Lynette’s reaction.

Adam asks what are they to do with this dog, he says he hears about crate training and Alonzo suggests they hire a dog trainer.

 

Adam tells them he wasn’t there when the trainer showed up, he just left his wallet behind for others to rape it.

Adam is telling them about using “whoops” instead of “no” and he mocks the hilarious image of Sonny being mauled to death while shouting “whoops” like he’s being spun in a dryer or open washing machine.

Adam is talking about the ridiculous pet experts who always have ridiculous answers for you to solve these issues, Adam is talking about a Saturday morning radio show hosted by “Warren” who suggests you throw a block party for your dog, hilarious riff!

 

Adam says how about we bypass all of that shit and give a sandal to the ribs, the time honored way of correcting K9 behavior.

Alonzo talks about the country dogs that would live 20yrs off scraps outdoors vs. today’s house dogs that seem so needy and fragile.

Adam is talking about how Olga feels about dogs, hilarious “tender enough” one liner joking about her eating the dog and her old world POV of canines.

 

Adam jokes about having Olga smack his daughter, he loves her kicking the dog so much.

Adam is telling the story of how Olga smacked Natalia again, she threw an upper body combination on her and then got slapped and demanded Olga be fired for it.

Adam is joking about his daughter in therapy and the bizarre situation of the parents higher a person to come assault her.

 

Adam is talking about the conversation he had with Natalia, and goes over the incident and how Olga was trying to snatch some candy and head-butted Olga when she was attempting to pull her off the shelf.

While Sonny was busy in the next room getting mauled by Phil trying to remember his safe word, hilarious!

 

Adam is sharing Olga’s version of events vs. Natalia’s and how he tends to believe the adult, he says Olga whacked her on the thigh and jokes about the clasping a brass candlestick.

Adam says he’s the world’s worst parent and doesn’t care, hilarious list of things he doesn’t care about.

Adam is now joking about his adult son trolling for prostitutes, heavyset Guatemalan women who can really tan his hide, a real disciplinarian type, Alonzo has a funny tag before they move on.

 

Q and Ace

1st Q from David, he wants to know what Adam thinks about The L.A. Rams playing out of the coliseum and Adam asks about the new stadium and riffs about the Grim Sleeper having some bodies buried where they’re set to break ground.

Adam is being told by Alonzo that Compton and Inglewood are on opposite ends of the freeway, Adam is riffing about the Grim Sleeper transporting bodies on the bus, funny riff with BB.

Adam is talking about Hollywood park and the Man Show bit where they put a 20$ in toilet with fake pee and fake poop.

 

Adam is talking about the unintended footage they ended up with of people shitting in a public bathroom and the “oh fuck no we’re going to get sued” reaction they had and marvels at how easy it was to add the hidden cameras to the bathrooms and get permissions.

Alonzo talks about a guy’s wife seeing that bit and presuming all of her assumptions about The Man Show were true and it wasn’t as great as it actually is.

They are now playing the bit.

 

Adam say’s for his son’s sake he will be happy to see the team in town.

Alonzo shares a funny observation he had about getting the shitty variant of the Rams.

Adam talks about the jilted city from where the team is leaving and the bizarre dual message the fans give of wanting them to stay while bitching about what crooks they were.

Adam shares his ‘Ram Rod’ wishes once again.

 

Adam is talking about luxury boxes and comments on the killing floor slaughterhouse feeling of that term after riffing about what/who they are for.

 

2nd Q from Enrique, he wants to know what Adam’s “about me” would say on a dating site, he says he would go for the low self-esteem market “to all the fat bitches out there, if I’m in a good mood I’ll let you suck my cock” and shares how women see through bullshit.

Adam would work the ‘Smuckers’ “with a name like Smuckers you got it’s got to be good” angle and if the first line was “Listen up cunts” then Adam riffs about living on the island of misfit toys and accidentally veered into oncoming “tranny” and tells fatty to grab a chin.

Bryan gets in a killer closing line.

 

Adam tells them about his daughter playing him Sonny’s favorite new song “I’m in love with the coco” and they watch the video where the dealers are making crack in a kitchen.

They’re playing the song and Adam is describing the video, no dead hookers though.

Gina has a killer “father may I do a line” and BB has a sick Tracy Morgan line, Adam asked Sonny what he thought the song was about and he told him hot chocolate.

 

Alonzo talks about Sonny in therapy, Adam is saying that Sonny probably can sing the song in the halls as the teacher’s might not know what the lyrics are about.

Adam talks about having one foot in the rap community and knowing about the song. He asks about black guys inviting trouble with the popo, Alonzo has a killer reply.

Adam says that his son labeled it a ‘Guilty Pleasure’ and Adam jokes about having to explain to his son that his new favorite artist set himself on fire.

 

3rd Q gets left hanging

 

 

Gina’s News

1st Story is on Donald Trump buying JebBush.com and redirecting it to his own website.

Everyone has a great reaction and Adam talks about the interview with Ferrari’s bastard son, Adam has a funny turn of phrase.

Adam is now talking about the dicks throughout history, talking about how Ferrari pissed of Ford and Lamborghini which resulted in them becoming the main competition.

 

Adam says maybe Trump is the Ferrari of our time, Alonzo says if you’re not smart enough to register your own domain name you might not be fit to be president.

Adam has a funny “Go Daddy” riff about Jeb Bush and Gina brings up him begging people to clap.

Adam is now giving some advice for Jeb, listen up Jeb, he tells him to find the 3rd Manning brother and go pound some microbrews with him and lament your overachieving siblings and family.

 

Adam is talking about digging up some Grim Sleeper victims’ bodies and “let it turn” and now BB is stepping in as the other guy bonding over their relative success, trying to put a positive spin on things.

 

2nd Story is on the free Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump tattoos being offered, they all weigh in and Alonzo asks about this “white people shit” and he says the black community drew the line at Obama tattoos.

 

3rd Story is on Pope Francis losing it after some overzealous people pulled him down on a person in a wheelchair.

Adam is talking about his papal gi and jokes that he’s surprised that Joe Rogan hasn’t thrown him around with some jujitsu.

Adam is killing this riff and jokes that the guy was “in love with the pope pope” and Adam says if a pope lands on you and you still can’t walk, fuck stem cells nothing will work.

 

Adam is now the paralyzed guy talking to his doctor about the pope falling on him and turning down the cure all placebo.

Handicapped ramp beckoned Adam to the hospital, he was on the way to a game and saw the ramp and had to change his plans.

Adam is now suggesting Alonzo join the Pope’s security entourage.

 

4th Story is on WhereWhitePeopleMeet.com and she shares the comments from the site’s creator.

Adam jokes about using ‘Farmer’s Only’ to have KKK meetings and Alonzo riffs with him and says that the white militias can set up in Oregon, nobody cares, nobody wants to go there.

Adam suggests they should start a website called IWouldLikeToGoToMyGraveSayingIFuckedOneBlackChick.com and Alonzo offers up Stacey Dash, he jokes about Beyoncé being taken back and Adam says he saw the halftime show, funny.

 

Adam is saying this could be great for the “Fuck it bucket list” and Alonzo where white guys go to almost meet black women.

Adam talks about the cool black chick who shows up at random parties and he says he went on a couple of dates with a black chick and says that white guys are a little intimated.

Adam doesn’t mention his almost threesome incident.

Alonzo says he just walks outside to meet white chicks, Adam talks about the vengeance fucking of white daughters of racist fathers and the double bonus of sex plus hurting a racist.

 

5th Story is on employee theft in America, Adam talks about getting treats from ‘Snack 5th Avenue’ when his buddy Chris worked there.

Alonzo asks about what this covers, Gina says that she doesn’t think “time theft” is a thing and now Adam is asking if we couldn’t live in a world where bars only profited 200,000% off of booze.

He talks about how people steal from bars while they give you tiny half shots of booze.

 

Adam is talking about his lackeys hanging out on his sofa, to the tune of 25$ per hour goofing off on his dime, eating his food and drinking his beer on his sofa.

Adam is talking about the hazelnut coffee creamer; he says it’s so big it’s the one that the Gracie brothers would use to work out in their dojo.

Adam says he drinks cream in his coffee like an American, they’re never out of the fake creamer but often don’t have cream for him.

 

Adam is citing the legendary St. Archer beer incident, where his staff took all of his free beer.

 

6th Story is on Roseanne’s new pot shops.

Adam says the bloom is off the rose when it comes to Roseanne, Adam says it’s probably good she made a lot of money off a sitcom in the 90’s, not a lot going on there.

Adam is talking about celebrity pot endorsements and he says whatever Roseanne is eating he doesn’t want to eat it.

 

Adam says that Tom Arnold must be pissing her off as he weighs about 135lbs now and she’s still larger.

They look at a picture of Tom and Adam talks about windows being the windows to the soul but since his eyes don’t shrink they’re starting into his soul and are now lasers burning him away when Tom is glancing in his direction, funny riff!

 

7th Story is on a study that proclaims women prefer nice men over hot ones and Adam talks about the “turn ons and turn offs” in Playboy magazine and he talks about how women like nice guys at a certain point.

Alonzo has a funny way of putting it and BB shuts Gina down telling her that we’re talking about what women want.

Adam has a killer riff about women covered in stretch marks, bleaching their moustaches and too lazy to get their fat asses up off the couch to go get their commuter mug from the car, Gina has a great reaction.

 

Adam is mocking the “as long as you’re up” logic and how standing doesn’t mean you’re ready to do work for someone else.

He tells them about his daughter asking him to get her more water and hanging him an empty cup.

Adam jokes about fanning a fart to his face and getting put in the doghouse when the ultimate bad boy activity is thinking your shit doesn’t stink.

Adam is referencing the “do you want me to crash the car” story from driving with Lynette early in their courtship. Adam likes to weaponized his farts with seat warmers.

 

8th Story is on Vanessa Hudgens Coconino National Forest vandalism with her boyfriend, Adam has a I’m in love with the Coconino line.

Adam talks about these young Disney stars surviving until adulthood and how they symbolize the passage of time and now he’s riffing about the way he used to ask Drew about the “recovery clinic” van that escorts the patients around town.

Why do they have to announce it’s a van full of junkies, Adam talks about why you need advertising for a rooter service vs. this.

 

Adam predicts the drivers gets 40% more bare asses and back sacks and Gina asks him about how Drew would react, he has a funny “don’t laugh your daughter might be in here” sticker idea in lieu of the rehab label.

Adam talks about binge drinking with Mark Geragos and how he lives close enough that he can walk home, Adam says that Mark is a wordsmith and contrast him to the stupid chick from work who goes from low 100 IQ to double digits.

Adam talks about the friends of his wife who approach him and tell him that they “know” he doesn’t truly like them, Adam says the reality is you don’t know shit and Gina is riffing a variant drunk girl, hilarious “you gotta be nicer to Becca, she worships you” drunk girl speech.

 

Gina talks about blank tape again and Adam says he commandeered someone’s Uber he was so drunk coming back from Geragos’s place, Adam thinks he had Sonny with him.

Alonzo gives the “I’m not a groupie but…” line and Adam does the “I don’t know you, but all my friends…” hilarious picture angle to avoid a double chin riff, wow!

Adam asks how this scenario works and has a funny drunken fireball breath comment while describing this cunty drunk.

 

Adam is joking about 69’ing with his friends over their love of Morrissey, saying the women shouldn’t be friends if they can’t bond over a love for Carolla.

Adam gives Alonzo a plug and goes into a live read.

 

Adam is doing an Onnit Live Read

Adam is in love with the coco-nut oil edition

 

Adam wraps the show and gives out the closing plugs.