Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/24/2013 – Ben Schwartz, Live From Room 5

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Recorded 01-23-2013 – Release Date 01-24-2013

Production Number #1000

http://adamcarolla.com/ben-schwartz-live-from-room-5/

Adam is opening the 1000th show live from room 5 for their 2nd show of this new regular thing; I can’t wait to see if it brings the same energy as last week’s episode.

Adam is teasing Ben’s appearance later in the show and a long awaited new entry from Alison’s fake book.

Adam is now riffing about taco shells and threating to spend most of the show on it; BB is chiming in and having some fun. Adam is now ranting and riffing about the “Crab Shoot” that fish taco’s often present, this is great.

Alison has a funny comment about dieting and food, Adam is now filling her in on the tacos and he’s explaining it was “Taco night”, now he’s riffing about adding the word night to anything and giving some hilarious examples, this show is magic already!

Adam is now explaining how he had a conversation with Natalia who is demanding a new ringtone and is sick of Sonny hogging all the limelight with his famous ringtone Purchase Sonny’s “It’s Just a Waste Of My Time” Ringtone Here

 

Adam is now back to Taco Shells and explaining how he just discovered the flat bottom variety, he’s now riffing about being “professionally into tacos and upping your taco game” Alison just invented a “Taco Rake” and now Adam is riffing about what that sounds like.

Bryan just brought up Huell Howser and now Adam is sharing a tidbit about his interview techniques while still joking about Huell in a lighthearted way.

Alison just mentioned she swallowed a tortilla chip wrong and hurt her throat, Adam is now taking it on a funny tangent about a fictional character I won’t spoil, all in reaction to Alison’s question, such gold!

Adam is now on an epic riff about the genius of the invention of the standing taco shell and taking it on a funny turn about the millions of tacos that have fallen over in the years before this invention, wow this is detailed.

 

Alison is now going to read an expert from her fake book, Adam is now breaking down the premise of this bit and how it originated. Adam is on a funny riff about his books about surviving the Vietnam War and how he might be better equipped to write about it, amazing.

Adam is now sharing a story about Natalia using her “easy glider” for street luging while on their nightly family walk, Adam is now explaining how he tried to stop her from bringing it with Olga and the back and forth conversation that involved 15 different machinations that took place.

Adam is now bringing Ben Schwartz from Showtime’s House of Lies onto the stage. This is Ben’s 2nd visit to the ACS; he was first on in March of 2012 for ACS episode #457 which was Production Number #789 of the podcast. You can listen to his first appearance by signing up for the Official Archive.

Adam’s prefacing that he’s not going down the super well-trodden and disturbing black comic angle about beating kids, but he does need to figure out how to make his daughter realize they’re not on equal footing.

Ben is now riffing with Adam; BB is jumping in a bit too. They’re still riffing about the flip flop beating and Ben’s reactions are hilarious, he’s clarifying that Adam would never actually hit his kids.

 

Adam is now telling them about giving her a hug and how she told Lynette that Adam “choked” her, Adam wants to know if Ben knows anyone who has died from Auto Erotic Asphyxiation because he’s “in that age range” whoa!

They just got Ben to reveal his age after Adam randomly picked an age when you must stop that activity, now he’s riffing about this being Ben’s most dangerous year; Ben has a funny fortune teller addition, great quotes!

Ben wants to know what else 32 means for him, Adam is now explaining it’s time to coast until something much worse I won’t spoil, Adam is now working Bryan into the riff and it’s gold!

Adam is now explaining how he did actually know someone who died of this and how it was the worst funeral ever because of the cause of death. Adam is now explaining what makes for a bad funeral.

Alison wants to know if everyone danced around the topic and Adam has a killer reply about her delivery, awesome!

Adam has a funny line about his beat off schedule and now Ben is actually doing the math, Adam is now clarifying and explaining the prostate health angle to Ben.

Ben is trying to figure out which drink is his which leads to a surprisingly great riff by Adam that extends to what happens to every bottle of Mangria before it’s corked, OMG!

 

What Can’t Adam Complain About

1st Apple pie and Ice Cream, Adam is commending the guy for adding the ice cream in last minute and taking a nice poverty/hard work angle about eating and caloric intake.

Adam is now explaining how deeply the abundance of cheap and delicious food torments him now that he’s able to afford as much as he want’s and his metabolism has slowed, wow!

Henry’s tacos is now being worked in and Ben is jumping in along with Alison, Adam has a killer riff about “special needs taco makers”.

 

2nd A properly hung door, Adam is giving a quick tutorial on how to hang a door.

Adam is now describing his old “Beachwood Canyon” house and the dickhead inspector who made him widen the doorway for a wheelchair in a house that is not even accessible by wheelchair.

Ben is genuinely surprised you can’t do what you want in your own home, Alison is now bringing up the bribing angle and Adam is running with it.

Adam is now making a great analogy about never being hit on by a gay man being similar to never being asked for a bribe, Ben is jumping in and so is Alison, very good bit.

Adam just dropped a Road House reference and Ben loves it, awesome reactions and now Adam is quoting up a storm, Adam is now remarking on Ben’s improv training after a specific phrase.

Adam is now trying to make an analogy but getting sidetracked on race, he’s riffing about the idea of having a black friend and trying to use that to argue away racism allegations, Ben’s reactions are amazing, he’s really throwing Adam tons of assists, awesome guest!

 

Adam is now asking if they have the new Michael Narren art you can find on the show page linked up top, it depicts Adam’s hilarious “Windbreaker” as first discussed in the Evan Sayet and Dr. Bruce episode form earlier this month and episode #8 of “The Adam and Drew Show”.

Adam is explaining the premise of his bizarre idea/dream, Ben’s reactions are priceless!

They’re now showing Narren’s new art depicting Adam’s idea, Alison’s laugh is hilarious and very telling, definitely a Drew fan.

Adam is now riffing further about the premise and Ben has a funny point, BB and Adam jump in with a great reply.

They’re now going super in depth on Adam’s idea and Ben is still game, fucking awesome show!

 

Alison’s News

Her top story is on Junior Seau’s family filing a wrongful death suit against the NFL, Adam is now arguing about how much he also gained from the NFL and explaining how much he likes Junior’s mom especially in comparison to his own.

Adam is now doing an in character riff as his mom eulogizing him, Ben’s reaction and Bryan’s music bed are great!

 

2nd story is on Hilary Clinton’s testimony over Benghazi, Adam is now proposing his “Stupid or Liar” argument and Alison is reading quotes from the testimony.

Adam is now explaining how she seemed to get upset, hilarious replies and quotes, Alison has a great reply and now Adam just did a great impression of an angry woman.

Adam is now riffing more as that angry woman, Alison has some questions and now Adam is explaining how he’ll bust that reaction out on the UPS guy, Ben’s reaction is once again awesome.

 

3rd story is on the ban being lifted for women in combat, Adam is explaining how he doesn’t get the desire to be put in the line of fire, Alison is explaining that there aren’t really front line positions as we once knew them and this is just giving women credit for jobs they’ve already been doing.

Hilarious Geraldo moustache riff from Adam, good stuff.

 

4th story is on National Pie Day, Adam just announced he feels his work is done and he has helped shift the cultural preference away from cake and over to pie, that’s huge news!

Adam is now riffing on the time spent lacing shoes in the “Mary Poppins era” Ben is now attempting to burst Adam’s bubble about the documentary depicting Mary, hilarious documentary references from Adam.

Adam is now busting Ben’s balls about the name of his show and questioning how he could trust him, Ben is really playing along and making this great.

Follow up from Gawker about “Orange Pie”, interesting tidbit from Alison and a funny riff about Bryan’s medical condition.

Adam is now riffing about peeling oranges and the realities of what you’ve contaminated the fruit with.

 

5th story is on two men in New Jersey who are suing Subway over their “foot long’ sandwiches not measuring up. Adam just thought up a way to cheat his dick measuring system and he’s not sure he should share it.

Adam just revealed the technique and has such a great quote it leaves Ben stunned, his reaction here might be my favorite one of this entire episode.

They’re now riffing about retrograde ejaculation and going back to the “technique” Adam came up with for cheating his system, Alison has some amazing quotes about “water”, gold!

They’re back to the news story, Adam is now predicting Subway’s defense before Alison can tell him and Alison is filling in the details of the story, Adam is now giving his take on Subway and other mass produced food.

Adam is now giving his take on pizza and doing a tongue in cheek bit about “sponsorship”, nice peek behind the curtain.

 

Adam has some great points about stupidity and repetition, he’s now talking about kids and calling them stupid people, Ben is calling him out and Adam’s replies about Natalia are off the charts great.

Ben brought up wind instruments, Bryan played the requisite drop and now Adam is explaining what the pan flute drop means, Ben is jumping in and playing along. They’re riffing in character and this might be Ace Awards 2013 material.

Ben just referenced the earlier bit about racism while in character and Adam follows it up with another callback from right after when Ben’s happened and now they’re jumping out of the scene.

Adam is now explaining why he’s often mistaken for being Jewish; Adam is now explaining his theory on Jews.

 

6th story is on Lindsay Lohan turning down a 500k offer for Dancing with the Stars; Adam is now explaining how he never even asked how much he made for doing the show.

Adam is now explaining how that can happen and how he missed an extra 150k by not making it to week 4, Adam is now riffing about how he would have thrown himself down the stairs had there not been a rule about earning based on weeks spent on the show.

Adam is now going in depth on his DWTS experience and how he would’ve tried harder had he known about the bonus.

 

Alison just wrapped the news and now Adam is explaining the conversation he had with Julianne about her former partners, who unbeknownst to her were into her romantically.

Adam is now calling for all men to be more realistic about their prospects, hilarious quotes.

Adam and Ben are now riffing in character about van abduction, hilarious improv!

They’re wrapping up the improv and Ben is reacting again, good stuff. Adam is now explaining the pragmatism of his dong, hilarious visual by the Aceman about Julianne too!

Ben is now thanking Adam for that one, he loves Adam’s post joke “Thank You’s”.

Adam is now plugging the Mangria tasting coming up in Boston 3-5pm This Saturday and he’s mentioning the few remaining tickets for his upcoming Detroit show.

Adam and Ben are now further bonding over their love of Don Cheadle and he’s doing some more plugs for Ben his website Rejected jokes and twitter account.

Adam is now doing a killer live read, Ben and Alison are jumping in and it’s great, nice time travel riff. They’re taking it even further and now it’s one of my all-time favorite live reads, this is another “Flawless Episode”

Room 5 is perfect for Live ACS, 2 for 2!

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