Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/23/2014 – Bobbie Brown

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Bobbie Brown

Recorded 01-22-2014 – Release Date 01-23-2014

Production Number #1243

Show Page

BB has a decent #TopDrop and might be missing a Bill and Ted reference when thanking the twitter chap who suggested it, or super dry humor.

Adam is explaining why cherry pie is low on his list of pies, he’s calling it too gooey and syrupy, Alison is in the mix with some points about lobster bisque and blowjobs, Adam agrees.

Adam says he likes the boutique cherry pies but I do recall a fan bringing a “Rainier Cherry Pie” to Adam’s first live show in Portland at the Aladdin theater, that pie also went unconsumed, even August didn’t finish it off.

 

Adam is reminded of his Bung Lu Su shirt that was provided by Jo Koy who had them printed up in response to the character’s popularity and overwhelming demand for a shirt.

Alison is taking it back to pie and is citing the pumpkin pie she had over Christmas, she’s saying it was overly spicy and almost curry flavored.

Adam is calling for a “Falootin/Falootin Free” store that doesn’t add bullshit to basic food, Adam is calling for the best anyone can make minus the personal flair added in for seemingly no reason other than hubris.

 

Adam is getting to his “Stew and Casserole” = Stronger, Heartier and better country, he’s now theorizing that the peak consumption era of stew was the peak time for people leaving notes on cars they damaged and holding doors open for strangers.

Adam and Alison are on an excellent “falootin” riff and BB is chiming in to joke with them, Adam is taking it back to his hazelnut soup aka water that a squirrel took a shit in.

“I’m sorry for sounding like a broken douche” – Adam, nice reaction from Alison on that one.

 

Adam is on a great riff about how hazelnut soup would have been the best Gilligan and the professor could have whipped up with limited island based ingredients but we live in a culture of meat and barley.

Adam is lamenting how California is the only place that lists all the things not in the food your ordering and how it results in a “could’ve been worse” reaction.

BB is jumping in to tell fans not to get their panties in a bunch as he intends to limit his playing of the Cherry Pie drop but he seems to have his tongue in his cheek, almost challenging the people he’s addressing, keep your beefs to twitter BB.

 

Adam is citing a time he never felt sorrier for someone, he’s telling the gang about the peewee football player exchange program where kids would fly across country and stay with local kids in a different state.

Adam is explaining that two young black kids from Indiana got stuck at the Carolla household, Adam and BB are joking about the kids reactions to this strange home they had to live in for a weekend.

Adam is sharing how one time Chris ate over at the Carolla’s and how his mom would make whole wheat pasta, Alison reminds Adam that a lot of this health food has come a long way since the 70’s.

 

Adam is now charting the distance in the evolution of batteries in the past 30 years against the evolution of health food.

Adam is now explaining how his mom hated anything with the word white in it but the one thing she and her hippy friends missed was the sun, Alison has a nice comment about what it is.

Adam is ranting about what a Dr. would have advised was more dangerous, microwave in the home or hours upon hours in the sin without any UV protection.

 

Adam has a killer one liner mocking the black and white zenith TV that his mom had, Adam is joking about his mom having a stupid fake name she kept close to her paisley vest that Adam wasn’t aware of in response to BB’s point about her friends and their made up names.

Adam is basically describing my mom while hitting all of the things his mom said were evil, red dye, microwaves, pesticides and no mention of the sun and its dangers.

BB has a great point about Adam’s mom lack of a grey area and how she dealt in absolutes, Adam says anyone with a cause kind of goes that way, good point.

Adam is launching into the Draft Kinds live read with BB.

 

BB is mocking the lyrics to “We’re and American Band” and now Adam is mocking storage unit advertisements and he’s stating how there should be a class action lawsuit against these facilities.

Adam is now describing the grim reality of these places and Alison says they’re not demonstrative of a good time in a person’s life, Adam is doing live commentary on the print ads that you can see via the show page link above.

Alison, Adam and BB are all peppering in commentary on these ads and Alison is sharing how her mom showed her the wedding dress she wore and Alison has some interesting points about time and what it does to dress fabrics, never thought of that.

 

BB is sharing how his wife works for an ad company and he’s telling them about the disclaimers in car commercials and asking why that doesn’t apply to storage unit advertisements.

Hilarious “hooker parts” comment from Ace as they wrap up this topic.

 

What Can’t Adam Complain About

 

1st Caller Dylan, he wants Adam to complain about “In and Out Burger”, Adam is first singing the praises of their “non falootin” style of food preparation.

Adam is now going after the drive thru at “In and Out” and Adam is laying into the guys who cut in line when you’re trying to let them past you, Adam is really going off on the psychological buzz kill of this move.

Adam is now sharing how he can tell what guys are going to be using a credit card vs. cash and take up extra time, he’s citing the dual lane fast food drive thru locations.

“The burger is great, the line is bad” – Adam summing up “In and Out”

 

2nd Caller Ryan, wants Adam to complain about defeating the Patent Trolls, Adam is whipping up a simple avenue to complain about this.

Adam is citing all the hours wasted and calories burnt chasing things that have nothing to do with him, Adam is citing what Refrigerator Perry said to him about how he “done worked his way up to a 0” after catching a tiny fish during their “Man Show” bit.

Adam is listing all the ways this bullshit inconveniences him and takes up his time from things he actually wants to spend his life doing.

 

Adam has a great point about circling a block for a parking space and is comparing it to winning against people who are trying to steal money from you.

Adam is going off on the weird fucked up thing in life of unnecessary busy work required by you from people you’re paying, he’s citing his recent home appraisal incident with his guy Rob, Adam is explaining that they had to get two appraisals for the home.

Alison wants to know why they required the double appraisals for remotely possible future legal cases that will never come to pass but still have to be preemptively dealt with.

 

Adam is giving several examples of all the bullshit and time wasting required in life, Adam is getting back to the Patent Troll bullshit that hasn’t even truly started yet, you can hear the disgust in Adam’s voice.

Adam is saying people can just hijack your life and he’s got a great “pay 3 million dollars and we’ll go away” reply and Alison is saying that the bell is especially resonant tonight, Adam has some killer reasoning as to why.

 

3rd Caller Rich, he’s telling the gang to bundle up in preparation for their trip to Buffalo and the freezing temps, Adam has a nice thank you/fuck you type reply.

Rich wants Adam to complain about “The Fox” the mascot of the first season of ‘The Man Show’, Alison is unfamiliar with the man, I always assumed she watched the man show and knew the history, maybe it’s time to get on that Hulu plus subscription.

Adam is telling the story of the Jimmy Kimmel’s 30th birthday party at “The Moose Lodge” in Canoga Park and it was catered by Arby’s along with entertainment from “The Fox”.

 

Adam is sharing how the party went from “sound good” to everyone vomiting due to the Fox and his peer pressure from behind the organ/Casio.

Adam is telling the gang that up until about 6 months ago when he saw “Ziggy Zaggy” on a mug he had been mispronouncing the lyrics “Ziggy Saki/soggy” on every single episode of the show and every time he did the toast.

I think it was a bit longer than 6 months ago when he first learned this factoid.

 

4th Caller Adam, he drives for a living and loves a hot shower, BB is adding “Driving for a living” to the official ‘Rich Man Poor Man’ list.

Adam is complaining about shower head height, he’s making a point about how raising it by 6 inches it wouldn’t effect shorter people in anyway, certainly not harmful.

He’s making a great point about height and shower heads, he’s citing Gary’s extreme (extremely rad!) height, he’s now got Gary on a southwest flight miserable and uncomfortable vs. Chris Maxipada (Laxamana) in one the same seat and he’s contrasting that to flying on commuter/prop planes.

Adam is referencing John Salley and his “I’m cool” reply to living in a short person’s world, Adam is calling for them to change the building codes etc. to accommodate everyone fairly.

 

Adam is now doing a live read, hilarious “pillowcase on 61st birthday” riff about what kind of money and education means for you.

Adam is telling the gang about Mike August dropping out of L.A. for two years to earn his MBA, Adam is telling the gang about woman from China who took the class online, BB is contributing nicely.

They’re now going to break.

 

They’re retuning from break with Bobbie Brown making her ACS debut, Adam is giving her some plugs and asking for something salacious and shocking from her book.

He’s stopping her and now getting her to give her journey into the business, she’s telling Adam about doing her first music video in 1990.

Adam is describing the era of the music videos, he’s asking her about her follow up videos and how she got the role in Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” video.

 

Adam is asking Bobbie about her experience on the original “Star Search” and he’s mocking the person that beat her out on the show, Alison and BB are in the mix as well.

Adam is joking about this further and Bobbie busts out the term “walnuts” which Alison is the only one to respond to, Bobbie is joking about her friend’s gross vulva that resembles a “walnut clit” and “apple cobbler”, Adam says the “Cherry Pie” girl using that term carries more weight.

Adam is asking her about missing the first audition for the “Cherry Pie” video, she’s telling them about her former coke and meth addictions, Adam is saying that coke is “yummy” and saying that meth is evil.

 

Bobbie is sharing how the meth caused incredible weight loss and why it was superior for a modeling career as opposed to fueled up coke talk and unwanted intimate encounters.

Alison wants to know what’s so bad about meth as she’s describing a miracle drug, Adam is clarifying that she was a drug addict but not fully into her disease when she shot the “Cherry Pie” video.

She’s saying that she didn’t even know who the band was nor was she familiar with their previous hit, Bobbie is saying that she had to fight with the director the entire shoot and agreed to the hose maneuver in lieu of stripping in whip cream.

 

Alison wants to know why Bobbie didn’t want to get naked for the video but doesn’t want to be insulting then has a very frank description of Bobbie’s lifestyle at the time, Adam has a killer Lena Dunham reference.

Adam is now back to her book and wants to know what people might find in it, she’s getting to the ex-lovers portion.

Adam is now asking her for a list of some of her famous exes, Adam didn’t get a copy of the book and is taking it as an attack.

 

She mentions former ACS guest Stephen Dorff and Leonardo DiCaprio as well, Adam is commenting on her “vaginal range” and Bobbie says that Leo is packing, Alison seems to already know this somehow and Adam is clarifying that Alison was thinking literal range, like size.

Adam is sharing his “pictures of you in your underwear” theory and joking about “helmets” with Bobbie.

Adam is now asking her about her relationship with Tommy Lee, she’s confirming most of his long held thoughts on the former Loveline guest, Bobbie is not holding back on the details.

 

Adam is back to Tommy Lee and his childlike nature, Alison is commenting on that and now Adam is bringing up how Lynette acts around their son, how she just wants to care for him.

Bobbie is sharing how the childlike nature of Tommy wore thin after 6 months and Alison is asking a follow up and Bobbie is sharing some of the house rules that went as far as the toilet.

Alison has a smart point about the controlling and clingy nature of Tommy Lee, Bobbie is telling the gang about her daughter and how she ended up with Jani Lane.

 

Adam has a reference to the dude she was with pre Jani, it turns out it was one of the Nelson brothers, Matthew, who guested on Loveline on May 27th 1998 after the infamous “Morell Twins” episode.

Bobbie is denying that she pursued rocker types, she’s now listing how she was introduced to “Nelson” and why she chose Matthew over Gunner.

Bobbie is explaining why Gunner didn’t like her from her POV and Adam wants to know what they thought could happen, not like she’s in danger of breaking up “The Beatles”.

 

Adam is explaining how he had a gym teacher who resembled Ricky Nelson and may have been a first cousin of the man, Adam is sharing the details of “The Donkey Squad” and the one time he saw his dad disappointed about Adam’s D in Phys-ed.

Adam is asking her about the feedback on the book and if any of her exes are pissed, she’s sharing the few examples of people who hate it, she’s being super vague.

Adam is trying to argue that Bobbie might not be as open minded about dating a regular Joe with a regular income, Bobbie is now sharing how she tells her friend that her “pussy smells like salmon” and tortures her.

 

Alison has a funny reaction to the high end nature of the insult, they’re all now riffing on types of fish and if they’re classy or not.

Bobbie is feeling the Mangria and Adam is asking her where she lives and where she shoots the show.

Adam is doing a live read.

 

Alison’s News

Her top story is on the leaked “Hateful Eight” script that Quentin Tarantino is now abandoning as a feature film, Alison is now listing off the actors who had possession of the script.

Adam guesses Bruce Dern which is the rumored possible leak, Adam is now commenting on the name Reggie and how none of his kids will ever have a pal named “Reggie”, Adam has a hilarious UK Reggie example and threatens to have Bobbie “shit out a Reggie”.

Adam is citing Reggie Bush and the lack of Reggie’s in the world and professional sports in particular, Adam is joking with Bobbie about Kim Kardashian’s walnut vagina.

 

Adam is singing the praises of Tarantino and his films, he’s saying that all of his movies are flawed in a good way and how when hearing about a new movie release, he would prefer it to be made by Quentin over.

Alison is confirming Adam’s theory on Quentin’s escalating narcissism in the public eye, Adam is explaining that why Alison saw this as a possible stunt, that narcissists start to sound like they’re performing stunts as nobody sane would say those things.

Adam is joking about throwing out all the screenplays that come with his DVD screeners for the Academy Awards nominations.

 

2nd Story is on a California court that upheld the right for a mother to spank her daughter with a wooden spoon, Alison is explaining the details of the case.

Hilarious wooden spoon/asshole comedy with Alison, BB and Ace.

Adam is now riffing on the two modes for cooling, the super exhale blowing on the soup, and the inhale over it, Adam wants to know which one it is to properly cool hot soup and has a hilarious quote about someone using the spanking spoon to taste test.

 

Alison is sharing some details from the courtroom and Adam is citing Drew’s wisdom on physical violence only being used to keep kids from behavior akin to running into traffic, life endangering behavior that needs to be curbed immediately.

Alison has some nice wisdom and Adam is sharing the story of Olga hitting Natalia after she spit in her face.

Alison explains her take on corporal punishment and why she’s unsettled by it, she pinpoints it all back to the song “Luca” and Adam loves the reference, they’re joking around about it now.

 

3rd Story is on the reveal that all Fruit Loops are actually the same flavor, regardless of color.

Everyone is now weighing in on the information and Adam is theorizing that everything turns into a sugary, milky with a wisp of Strawberry flavor.

Adam is now stating the best sugary cereal and he’s choosing “Frosted Coated Mini Wheat’s”, he may be right, that cereal has longevity and is sweet enough to keep you coming back when it starts to get soggy.

 

Adam is now bringing up the cookies that BB’s wife made, Alison has a nice walnut callback and Adam is taking it to the salmon, he’s got a horrific “Taco Salad” one liner that BB is shocked by.

 

4th Story is on Marijuana Poisoning in dogs that has increased in recent years.

Alison is sharing an emergency veterinary visit with her dog, she’s sharing how the doctors were wondering if her dog has consumed any marijuana.

Adam is sharing a theory on edibles, Alison has a reveal about her dog’s love of gum and Bobbie is telling the gang about her old dog that was partial to the crotches of her underwear, this has been an interesting show.

 

Bobbie is telling the gang about her dog overdosing on GHB, Adam is joking about her abbreviating something with 3 letters, gold!

She’s telling them about her Chihuahua, Adam is sharing a new anecdote about the one on set, “Kilo” and how it bit a camera guy, he’s citing the “sometimes it bites someone” attitude from the dog owner.

Adam is telling the gang about the dogs he would encounter while doing construction and installing closets for “ABC closets”.

Adam is riffing about locking up dogs and going off, some great one liners.

 

Alison is wrapping the news, Bobbie loves the use of her new drop and Adam is doing a live read.

Adam is giving out the plugs and wrapping the show to another drop from Bobbie.

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