Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/06/2014 – State of the Union 2014
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – State of the Union 2014
Recorded 01-05-2014 – Release Date 01-06-2014
Production Number #1231
Adam’s opening the first show of the year with an impassioned Get It On, BB has an excellent #TopDrop and they’re remarking on the upcoming 5th year anniversary of the podcast.
Adam is mentioning the doubled up release of his 3rd book and BB’s upcoming book, 14 days apart.
BB is sharing how he feels about seeing their books on the Amazon charts next to one another.
BB hints about the cover for Adam’s 3rd book “President Me” that will soon be revealed and he’s sharing a moment with Lynette discussing it and his back peddling after revealing that he already saw it.
Adam is teasing the gang’s New Year’s Resolutions and Adam is explaining why his December wasn’t as jam-packed as previous years, he’s got a nice dwarf one liner.
Adam is explaining his resolution of Gratitude for 2014, Adam is explaining how he had a slip up despite his best intentions, and he’s waxing poetic on Gratitude and what it means in one’s life.
Adam is really going deep on living and gratitude, nice examples of people that lived to 80 years old 200 yrs. ago and kids who never made 20, much like his buddies who died in the Pinto.
Adam is citing his Paul Newman documentary as helping him understand the meaning of life and why gratitude matters, he’s got some excellent points.
Adam is sharing how Lynette bought him an industrial strength juicer for Christmas and how he always declares the New Year as the year he finally takes up juicing for health reasons, he’s got some nice comedy about all the things one can juice.
Adam is citing his 19min of juice fasting before a trip to the hotdog train with the kids; he’s now citing his 22min of gratitude that was interrupted by Molly’s minefield of poop littering his new yard.
Adam is joking about his kids getting the things they want, he’s joking about his own desires for things, including parents who cared.
Adam is explaining why they moved, a less exciting house with a yard, something meant for a family.
Adam is explaining how he was having a “catch” with his son in the yard and their dodging of the shit mid game.
Adam is explaining his efforts to direct her pooping with a fence on the dog run area and confusion about the gardener’s responsibility when it comes to cleaning it up.
Alison has a funny Vince Vaughn joke that Adam blows past, BB even tried to back it up with a revelation style music sting.
Alison wants to know how the shit was handled at the old house; Adam explains Molly had her own area as the yard wasn’t good for anything but dog shit.
Adam is explaining his garage that requires one to drive across the lawn; he’s explaining that he arranged to move a couple cool cars over to the new garage.
He’s explaining the yard shit/dance of ingratitude incident with Rob, his car guy/assistant; Adam is explaining the details of the shit in the yard, the car tires and his efforts to keep Rob from running over the poop.
Adam is going in depth on the on shit spreading into his tire treads that then lead to the skid mark across the concrete to the garage, Alison wants to know what Adam’s tantrum dance entails, BB has a killer one liner.
Alison is picking up on Adam’s “potato stamps” reference and asking him about it, he’s explaining how stamps were made at school out of strange items.
BB is sharing an anecdote about his spring cleaning with his wife, he’s got a condescending moleskin explanation for Adam, Alison has a killer one liner in reply to mock him right back.
BB is explaining how they found a very relevant reminder of gratitude in said moleskin and Adam is explaining that gratitude is the key to happiness and the balance is in finding how to get things done and keep that mentality going.
BB is sharing some family anecdotes of his grandmother and grandfather, how they found gratitude in the darkest moments.
Adam is sharing an observation he had about Molly and her lack of fear of automobiles and abject terror of the hair dryer, Natalia helped him come up with this bizarre duality, Adam says that’s what makes his dog stupid.
Alison has a nice anecdote about Natalia tying a balloon on her own and Adam has a killer joke in reply.
Adam is sharing his gratitude for his kind kids who are great around other adults; Alison wants to foster Adam’s gratitude while betting on its longevity with the staff.
Adam is doing the first live read of the New Year.
Adam is asking the gang about their New Year’s Resolutions and BB jumps in to explain that his is to not over consume food and booze like he did over his break, he’s now telling them about his vacation.
Adam is commenting on the ease in which one can overdo it around the holidays, Alison is explaining her resolution to try harder to remember people’s names and to be more punctual; Gary is backing her up that she’s pulling it off so far.
Adam says it’s a better life to blow past other people and “their version” of events, Alison is summing it up nicely.
Adam calls it one of the keys to happiness; he’s now citing the “want something from daddy” issues some women have where every guy they meet becomes an attempt to fill that void.
“Are you going to take it to the grave, that’s the question” – Adam on steering clear of those who will not change while on this earth.
Adam is bringing up the horse poop he encountered on a nearby trail, he’s describing the areas where you can own and ride a horse in the city limits.
Adam has a great point about horse shit being ok while dog shit isn’t, he admits horse poop is less offensive but it’s still not fun to step in horse shit while picking up dog shit.
Alison has a “beast of burden” use in reply to Adam, Adam is already jumping ahead and has a great riff about the rare times he tries to ride his dog, he’s now making a point about the level of enjoyment one gets from a dog vs. a horse and what that should mean.
Adam is now saying that all horses should be affixed with a “shit sail” the shit catching sacks they use in central park, as Adam says “we have the technology”.
Adam says nothing is used to having shit strapped on to it like a horse and has a nice reptile and lesbian one liner, which he tops with a same haircut/Bill Shatner joke.
BB has a great arms race one liner; they’re all discussing “shit hammocks” as Alison put it.
Q and Ace New Year’s Edition
1st Caller Will, he’s got some audio issues and is trying to remedy them, he’s apologizing for the fuck up and tries to make a joke in reply to BB that calls back to the 2nd episode of the ACS from 2009, the phone throwing incident.
Will wants to know if Adam ever imagined the show being such a success and why he’s not taking advantage of more opportunities, he’s asking in a kind way and Alison makes a joke, he then unwisely gets lout trying to apologize again, they have to put him on hold.
1st Self Satisfied Sniff of 2014, Adam is explaining the way one should look at success and not plan for it, a very fair minded way of judging one’s self, nice trophy mom joke too!
Adam is explaining he finished the 3rd book with Mike Lynch and the script for “Road Hard” with Kevin Hench over the holiday break, Adam is saying people are too quick to ask about the next step before the product is made.
Adam is clarifying that he’s saying to not look ahead at all but it’s more important to focus on the stage you’re at then what you’ll do when you’re at the next one.
Adam says he’s never been surprised by success or failure in his career, he knows the universe doesn’t care.
BB has a point about Adam’s CBS sitcom and the prediction of “get used to this” from the executive, Adam is now telling the story with more detail and BB has a killer reply, Adam even loves it!
Adam is on a “rear wheels vs. Motor” analogy, he’s citing conversations with Matt Fondiler about the online Carolla store and the talent level of Josh Gardner the Deaf Frat Guy relative to his career success.
Alison and BB set him up for this example perfectly, Adam says DFG is the one of the funniest guys he’s ever met and says he’s met many less talented people who are vastly more successful, BB has a killer Complisult.
Adam is breaking it down to focusing on the external vs. what’s inside of you; Alison is helping him mock that concept and thinking.
Adam is doing a live read.
2nd Caller Declan saw the show from Irvine with the Amazing Jonathan.
He wants Adam take on online dating, Adam is giving some nice examples of how he would have operated had he had the options, hilarious bull in china shop analogy with evolving variants on the idea, gold!
Adam is telling the “Mind if I sit-down?” “Why?” story, he’s now saying guys who are better with words might benefit from the online interactions and actually clean up.
Adam is citing how Sarah Silverman started dating Alec Sulkin after becoming a fan of his tweets; BB is asking Alison about her history with online dating.
Alison is now sharing the story of Mike August and his dating profile, written by his female friends, Adam was the one to make the reveal, and Alison was not mentioning him to be courteous.
Declan is bringing up the “Catfish” angle he’s concerned about, he’s bringing up Adam’s riff about the show.
Adam is now covering the “guys in a nutshell” element of the show, Adam is offering up a “new super-hot chick” idea to prove that the “Catfish” negative reactions are solely based on looks and not about betrayal.
Brian Koppelman is now joining the show for another visit, this time via phone.
He wants tips on how to find a new car and not get scammed, Adam is now offering up some super practical and smart advice on buying used cars.
Find the car you want the most and buy the 2-4yrd older version of your car of choice, Adam is asking Brian about his intentions. Brian likes the 2yrs and less than 20k miles rule.
Adam has a nice new girlfriend analogy, Alison has a killer one liner and Adam has a fucking newborns joke that BB comes in to assist with, gold!
Brian wants advice on the haggle, Adam says he should ask someone else as Adam is not good at that part himself, Adam is giving him tips on how to price negotiate online or at a dealership.
Alison is offering her own experience with her recent purchase, BB has a nice point and now they’re joking about agents to buy your cars for you.
Adam is sharing the “I wasn’t going to tell you” story from James Babydoll Dixon and his refusal to actually tell Adam because it was too insulting.
Adam is doing a live read.
4th Caller John gets on air after they almost don’t take his call, he says he’ll continue his tradition of being a dick, Alison seems to remember him, and I have no recollection as all the average to shitty callers blend together in my head.
John wants to know why BB chooses the drops he does, and why he lets some retire, though he’s having difficulty articulating that fully.
There is a Gin Rummy reference in BB’s explanation.
Adam is now sharing his story of dinging out with Vince Vaughn and the “Portabella Mushroom” appetizer that he was hyping all week, Adam says that he told the staff they need to treat their good appetizers like a gin rummy hand, Great Magnet!
Adam is now joking about the butternut squash and nut based soup appetizers, he’s joking about making soup out of anything, including contact lenses.
Adam is sharing his reaction to “you can’t even tell” after the list of missing ingredients.
Alison has a “hot juicing” reply in response to Adam’s soup description, great “duvetyne soup” one liner from Ace.
Adam is now teasing his audio side by side of Peter Berg Film Director and Andrew Luck the quarterback.
Adam is explaining his upcoming “CineFamily” screening of his movie “The Hammer” as part of Illeana Douglas’ programming.
They’re now doing the audio comparison of the two men, BB is adding Joel David Moore and Adam wants to know what’s up with the neck beard, and Alison tries to throw Gary under the neck beard bus.
Adam is asking if we’re in facial hair free for all, he’s making a point about bygone eras with standard hairstyles for men and facial hair.
Alison admits to dating a guy with the AJ from Backstreet Boys style facial hair, Adam is now listing all the styles guys now sport, BB has a nice “Smash Mouth” reference with an audio queue for Ace.
Adam is commenting on his black man beard and how uncomfortable it if physically.
Adam is doing a Hulu Plus live read with a funny “Dr. Who!?” delivery.
Her top story is the insane temperatures across most of the United States; Alison is explaining the Polar Vortex affecting the country.
Adam is now asking if we’re now doing with weather what we do with facial hair; Alison is sharing the actual facts regarding the temperatures that haven’t been seen in over 20 years in some places.
Alison is reading the predictions for most of the country; she’s citing the horrible wind-chill factor.
Adam is bringing up the ice breaker that was frozen in place, BB has a condescending clarification and Adam has a funny joke about his “May I have this seat ladies” joke mocking his earlier story, gold!
Adam is now on a great analogy about dealing with weather and what it means about you and the contrast of no weather and how that relates to one’s appearance and struggles in life.
Alison is asking why she keeps bumping the door on the way in, Adam says she lost the muscle memory of entering the studio, Adam is now explaining why humans have that in the first place, Adam is now saying she’s dumb or gained weight when she refutes the idea, gold!
A giant spider is descending behind Adam, Adam is now asking Gary for a tissue and explaining why he took up the task of killing them instead of placing them outside, Alison aggress and BB has a neck beard joke aimed at Gary.
Adam is sharing how he heard that one should try using their computer mouse with both hands to train them to be ambidextrous.
2nd Story is on the rumor that went out over the break that her son does not have Autism.
Alison is reading Jenny’s reaction and quoting her words.
Adam is on a riff about why Bryan got a brain tumor, he’s got a joke about a love for diet soda and Alison and Adam have hilarious one liners.
Adam says the most vulnerable anyone will ever feel is being out of control, he’s got an example about the primitive part of human brains, Alison has a nice summation for Ace’s idea.
Adam is now mocking pseudo-science and how we let people get away with their bullshit in the media, much like Jenny, Adam is now explaining why he is bothered by her.
Adam is citing “Dirty Love” her filmic opus that reveals her inner lack of talent, Adam is also mocking her “funny for a good looking blonde” status.
Alison is bringing up Jenny’s status as labeled by the CDC; Adam is explaining why they would have that stance with a nice pro-smoking campaign from a celebrity analogy.
Alison is bringing up her problem with the anti-pasteurization campaign; she’s bringing up the real world risks of Polio and E coli bacteria.
3rd Story is on the first day of legal Marijuana sales in Colorado.
BB tries to mock Alison’s story and she backs it up with a factoid about the “Green Rush” and Adam is commenting on the love of weed, Adam is for it and likes the cash crop for the government.
Adam is bringing up Mike August and his years of pitching the legalization of marijuana despite his nonuse, Adam is asking why he thinks that even with all this influx of cash the L.A. Schools would still be 47th, he wants to know why the money always seems to vanish.
BB and Alison agree with him and seem to share his assumption and concerns, where Adam is’s fucking bullet train and monorail.
BB and Alison are offering up some interesting points, BB has a personal financial analogy, Adam is agreeing while stating you would see some improvement, even minor.
Adam is doing another live read.
4th Story is on Ke$ha checking herself into rehab for an eating disorder.
Adam is now learning about her S for the first time, he wants to know when it became game on with names, Alison and BB are joking about it and Alison is reading the quotes from the story.
Adam is getting to the “you got to learn to love yourself” message society sends to women and how there is no equivalent for men; Adam says it’s not part of the equation for dudes, neither here nor there.
Adam is saying that guys realize that it’s neither here nor there how you feel about yourself, keep your head down and get shit done.
Adam has a hilarious socks for Molly analogy; he’s mocking the insane people who put socks on their dogs, BB jokes about being one of them.
BB is sharing his take being raised with self-esteem and how loving yourself was never brought up; Alison has a nice insightful reply about hating one’s self.
Adam has a funny “tip of the love yourself spear” joke saying it’s shaped like the tip of a vibrator, Adam says the people who love themselves the most are the ones people hate the most.
Adam is explaining how you can’t try to make others respect you through commands for it, Alison is asking Adam about what he would tell a young girl or think about her if she was in a Loveline style situation being taken advantage of by men.
Adam is now commenting on how his wife reacts to him giving crap to Molly she’s not allowed to eat, he’s making a larger point about never treating our pets like we treat ourselves, Alison calls for Adam to Sniff, she called an Audible!
Adam is bringing up his daughter the Banshee and BB has a perfect drop, Adam is quoting himself and telling them about his nightly head-butts and launching jump hugs.
Adam is now bringing up his wife’s mom Helen and his own Grandmother Helen, the two louder than shit ladies and how his daughter has that same trait.
Adam is recounting how he had a conversation with Natalia about how he and Lynette first met; BB has a poorly timed drop and wraps it up quick, very cute story!
Adam is now quoting Sonny trying to make Natalia “Do the Math” on their existence and Natalia’s “Was her hair up, or was her hair down?” reply.
Adam is now sharing his discussion with Lynette about Natalia’s reply and common obsession with hair bring down, much like Lynette’s mother.
Adam is now saying the longer he lives he’s moving away from nurture and leaning toward nature, citing the weird hair down obsession gene.
Adam has a great traumatized by a bun joke and an even funnier Princess Leia joke, Adam is citing the comparisons between the men in his family and Sonny and the women in Lynnette’s family and Natalia, spooky.
Alison is wrapping the news.
Adam is doing a live read and getting to the plugs, he’s now wrapping the show joking about the old hat of the NYT best sellers list with BB.