Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/05/2017 – Derek Riedle
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Derek Riedle
Recorded 01-04-2016 – Release Date 01-05-2016
Production Number #1980
Adam opens the show to a funny “piece of his heart, start from the start” intro from Dawson and Lynch, BB has a #TopDrop from yesterday’s guest James.
Adam welcomes everyone to the show and gets to his encounter with an asshole, he prefaces it with saying he can be prone to “moods” and goes over all of the details of his neighborhood setting this up.
Adam is now further describing the scene at play in his neighborhood, Adam is now describing the context of him walking his dog in his neighborhood, he says there is a high likelihood he lives in the neighborhood.
BB has a funny bindle joke and Adam is now talking about the guy who was immediately at an 11 ordering Adam to walking on the other side of the road, instead of against traffic where he can avoid being runover.
BB has a killer impression of the man cuckolding him with his wife, Adam is the angry motorist neighbor and BB is still pumping away, is he playing a black guy?
This is for sure the best improv scene of 2017, Adam is now freaking out as the cuckolded neighbor prick bitching about Adam walking against traffic, Adam keeps bringing up ‘Jeopardy’ and wraps the scene, hilarious!
Adam is now saying that speaking of black voices, BB asks if they were and tries to evade what voice he was actually trying to pull off.
Adam is bringing up the all black defensive squad of the Pittsburgh Steelers, he asks Gary to verify if it is indeed an all-black squad.
Adam is now making a point about this all black squad having the most traditional American names possible, in contrast to the non-all black squads with some of the most unique and modern urban names that exist.
Truce Car – Let’s get some True Car Baby! edition
What Can’t Adam Complain About
1st WCACA Laurie, she is excited Adam knows it’s her and mentions that she views Adam as frugal, Adam says he’s not frugal and gets to her topic of cotton balls.
Adam sent one of his guys to get some Melatonin for him, he should really try New Mood by Onnit one of their sponsors instead.
Adam is ranting about the coot ball that was stuffed in the bottle of pills, Adam brings up the impenetrable hymen that seals the bottle as well, hilarious description of what it’s intended to accomplish.
Adam is now talking about the white part of cotton balls, that only reveals how truly filthy your facial skin is, how disturbing it is to realize you’re walking around with on your face.
Adam also complains about the straggler pills that fall out attached to the cotton ball and Gary gets on mic to explain why they stuff the bottles to begin with.
Laurie loves the rant and they move on to the next caller.
2nd WCACA Lance, he compliments BB and Adam has him reiterate and Adam stops him to make a point about that thing they just heard.
Adam is now sharing an anecdote of a bartender who bragged to him about him having his “other stuff” on tap, not his Mangria and she wouldn’t name the beer, she didn’t give her take on the beer after he asked her if she tried it.
Adam is now asking why someone wouldn’t share if they liked it after informing you they tried it, Adam asks if this is a daddy issue or just someone who is poor at social interactions.
BB is asking some follow ups and Adam makes a point about this being an opportunity to “withhold something” and he’s making ap point about the vestiges from our pasts that we may not even know of but might be allowing to affect us to this day.
Adam is now talking about his father fucked up raising his sister and how that affected her vs. how it affected him having the same father.
Adam is now sharing the details of a confusing email exchange with his sister about the start time for dinner, Adam is connecting this back to Classic Loveline, he has a series of questions about college to convey his point.
Lance gets to now gives his actual compliments and asks Adam how he’s going to complain about the modern reclining movie theater seats with built in cup holders, Adam does have an angle.
Adam brings up zipper-less sweatpants and hearing one’s keys hit the slab floor, usually covered in sticky/gooey soda syrup and garbage.
Adam wraps up the complaining and they move on.
3rd WCACA Cody, he suggests Drug testing for welfare recipients, Adam is so for this he wants Norplant put in recipients, for their benefit more so than his potential benefit.
Adam says the worst thing that could happen to a person with too many kids they can’t support is to have another, Adam has a great stepdad pays for your car/zip it while I’m napping example for enforcing rules on people who are receiving money they didn’t earn.
Adam uses the complaint about all of the HuffPo staff and all of the people in his business who would claim that was racist, even though he never mentioned a race.
4th WCACA Grant, finding misplaces cash in your pocket.
Adam tells him about coming home with change and how it’s lost its allure due to his wealth, Gina would love to get to that point and Adam has a killer stripper DJ with Gian dancing.
5th WCACA Harry, he suggests a nice multitool that can be worn on the hip.
Adam is now bringing up the dude who has a blade at the ready to cut open boxes when you are about to sue your teeth.
Adam wonders why he never wants to hang out with that guy, the best guy to hang out with is the guy who has nothing and suggests you use a phantom lighter nightery of you possess to open a bottle.
Adam is now riffing with Harry about his profession as a forklift deriver, he’s got a great romantic comedy trailer moment description and he asks about employees eating free samples while at work at Costco, he shares the official policy.
Adam says he would have to be allowed to eat the samples, it’s cruel and unusual for you to smell it all day, Adam is now sharing what he would say to his boss about watching Gertie cook up samples in the skillet and how it’s as irresistible as watching Sophia Vergara getting titty fucked, Adam has a killer phrasing, hilarious!
Geico – Save Some Do Re Mi
They head to break
They’re back from break with Derek Riedle making his ACS debut and a great listener voicemail about bumper stickers and the two groups who know the shitty works of Sid and Marty Krofft and those who don’t.
Adam welcomes Derek to the show after responding to the listener voicemail.
Derek is sharing his effort to change the perception of cannabis and users of it, Derek is now fleshing the apocryphal story that led to his work.
Adam has a couple of hilarious jokes about blowing homeless guys in the alley and he asks Derek about the show he hosts that’s about unique proprieties infused with aspects of those who designed them.
Adam is now telling the gang about meeting with the guy who helped build Ed Begley’s efficient house, he talks about the models he saw on display and Adam jokes about Derek going gay.
Adam says the architect is Scott Harris, Adam says his daughter wants a bowling alley in the house as she wants to compete with the family down the road who also has one.
Adam is now sharing how he tried to talk Natalia out of wanting one by describing his anger that would arise after he realized nobody was using the lanes, funny walking into a sprider-web picture Adam is paining.
Adam is now looking at some photos and he jokes about the “lady architect” and BB steps in to mock his phrasing, Gina has a funny reaction too.
Adam is now talking about fixating on a photo of his house before he did the remodel and how much happier is now that it’s been improved upon what he was looking at in said picture of Natalia and Phil from last year.
Adam is talking to Derek about nightly alcohol consumption vs. marijuana and Adam shares his quest for the weed equivalent to a scotch on the rocks.
Derek and Gina make some great points about dispensaries and cannabis consistence, Adam tells Matt to make a note, he wants some pot that relaxes him, is good for sleep and makes his cock wider.
Adam asks about “pot juice” and Derek informs him of the various delivery methods, Adam has him give out some plugs and they head into the news.
1st Story is on the Julian Assange interview with Sean Hannity where he pledged the DNC hack didn’t come from Russia, Gina has the clips and BB makes a point about choosing to believe him.
Gina makes a solid point about what was left unsaid.
2nd Story is on Janet Jackson’s child’s name, Adam is really drawing this out and Gina is dropping a hint before sharing it.
Adam is now talking about the guy “Pogi” he worked with who told him that his name meant handsome, he’s not sharing the “Pogi’s not so Pogi anymore” story.
Adam says Janet Jackson landed in the worst era of pop music ever for him as a music consumer, he says the 1980’s and the Paula Abdul era was responsible for some of the worst sonic shit ever.
Adam is saying that most of Janet’s music is overproduced shit and BB is defending the song they’re listening to that features heavy industrial pipe sounds and quickly changing gears mocking it.
Derek talks about the grunge movement and taking it back to the garage.
Adam says this music is soulless as they listen to more of Janet’s music.
Adam jokes about the dude in the C&C Music Factory video, the shirtless dude who did the lion’s share of jumping, BB knows the reference well and they move on.
3rd Story is on the 2017 Coachella lineup, Gina drops some band names and reads them the details of the festival.
Gary gets on mic and says Adam would hate it, Adam is now lamenting people who complain about what things “do to them” like red meat making someone crash later in the day for example, he has not time for that.
4th Story is on Eva Amurri opening up about her newborn son’s fractured skull as a result of being dropped by a nurse, Gina has the details and informs the gang about what happened.
Adam thinks the nursery should have some heavy-duty shag carpet, BB asks how hot Eva is, Adam says she’s so hot she’s coming back around to unattractive.
Adam is now making a point about cute vs. hot and how having nothing wrong with you doesn’t make you hot, ala Jennifer Anniston.
Adam is swearing by Natasha Henstridge circa 1997 and Derek brings up Sophia Loren, BB and Adam marvel at Eva’s breasts and they move on as Adam asks about the name “Major” before Gina gets to the 5th story.
5th Story is on the Florida pit-bull attack that occurred after the owners attempted to dress it in an ugly Christmas sweater.
Adam is blaming the owners for naming their dog Scarface and brings up people who name their kid ‘Jesse James’ and then marvel at them turning to a life of crime.
Adam has a disturbing rule for what he would employ if he was in charge and they move on
6th Story is on an interview with Gene Simmons and Fox News, asking if he was invited to perform at the inauguration with his band KISS.
They play the response from Gene and Adam jokes about his hairline starting to resemble Darth Vader’s helmet.
Adam mentions Gene’s love capitalism and Gina has a hilarious incredulous reaction timed perfectly along with BB, gold!
Adam now wants a horseshoe crab to also compare to Gene’s hairline and head.
Life Lock – it’s 2017 edition!
Gary has a horse crab picture but doesn’t think it’s good enough, Adam likes it and they all react to the horseshoe crab.
Adam says the ugliest things on the planet changes the least, Derek brings up the deep-sea fisherman who has been posting his bizarre catches online.
Adam jokes about Derek being stoned and not being able to tell if it was real or fiction.
7th Story is on the best time of year to buy various goods, Adam asks about theft and how things used to go missing far more frequently.
Adam thinks China and the low cost and lack of resell value has inadvertently slowed down larceny.
Adam wants to do a reality show called “that’s too much bike for you” where he separates people from their fancy bikes, Adam jokes about people giving themselves a sponsor before they even learn to ride properly.
Gina has more details on when to buy a couch and Adam shares how he bought a leather sofa on credit, he marvels at how inexpensive furniture is today, Adam is pissed that everything is so fucking cheap now that he’s rich.
Gina wraps the news and they go into a live read.
Stamps.com – All we use around here edition
Adam plugs some live dates and wraps up the show, the gang react to the picture of the crab they’re trying to match with Gene Simmons head.
Adam finishes the plugs and BB has the cock wider quote form Adam as the closing drop.