Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/09/2018 – Rob Schneider and Jo Koy
A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS
Guest – Rob Schneider and Jo Koy
Recorded 01-08-2018 – Release Date 01-09-2018
Production Number #2234
Adam opens the show to a ‘Local Jewel Thief Adam Carolla’ intro from Mike Dawson and Mike Lynch, Adam thanks their sponsor Hims and then welcomes everyone to the show.
Adam comments on Jo’s recent Hawaiian standup tour and sold out shows, BB has a great “You’re an idiot” #TopDrop from Jo Koy.
Adam jokes about Jo beating out Mariah Carey and how happy he is to hear her being “beaten out” in anything and he segues to the Golden Globes and the commercials that played during the broadcast.
Adam is now making a point about the language of commercials and he brings up the way they only showcase 3 white men in the same advertisement is if they’re portraying criminals.
BB weighs in and they talk about the mixed-race couples and the way black men are prohibited from portraying criminals in commercials, costing them work, yet another form of racism.
Adam is now making a point about “my truth” and “I feel” as language that someone cannot debate, Adam jokes about his truth of his super wide cock.
Jo asks Adam about his cock size, he says insanely average and then realizes they dropped the global average down to 5.2 inches.
Adam says he has a run of the mill cock, the Michael J Fox of cocks, it’s likable according to Jo Koy.
Adam says you see his dick and you remark “oh there you go” and they move on.
Adam is referencing the Laura Dern speech and “their truth” which Adam makes a point about, citing the reality of events and actual truth.
BB makes a point about implying that a survivor’s experience was their truth as opposed to the truth, what actually happened.
Adam sets up the clip of Oprah, Adam jokes about Oprah having a magic wand and how she would wish away all men’s dicks if she could.
Gina says her 7th grade English teacher who strongly encouraged his students to say “I think” over “I feel” and Adam jokes about Jo Joy being a great father.
Adam is now explaining how his wife will make lunch runs for the kids, gone are the days of a bologna and spit sandwich in a paper bag.
Adam found out his wife was going to Panera Bread to pick up sandwiches and he asks the gang how people would have reacted to you bringing McDonalds to school.
Adam has a great “get a BJ anywhere you want to go” idea, he suggests taking a brown paper bag and putting old socks in it, then dripping wax over it to make it seem greasy, then using said bag of imitation fast food contents to negotiate oral sex from the faculty of your school.
Adam informs Gina it was not the kids birthday again and he brings up the girls that were chosen to run the snack shack in junior high.
Adam tells them about the giant girl named Joan with curly red hair who didn’t fit in and was chosen to run the snack shack.
Adam shares how they would have his buddy Chris act as the face man and get free stuff from Joan, Jo is now impersonating Joan and Adam is playing Chris.
BB jumps in as Adam Carolla, Adam keeps working in Joan’s love for the band ‘Bay City Rollers’ and Adam keeps the improv scene alive, hilarious arm wrestling rematch with Ray and insanely hilarious reaction from Jo as Joan about a squat competition with Ray.
Adam shares his hopes for Joan and her life, that she fit in eventually and being tall was only a benefit to her as an adult.
Adam asks about the one giant chick, not fat chick, just a giant we all knew in school.
They play some ‘JoJo’ by Boz Scaggs, Adam is back to the story of his wife swinging by Panera Bread, Gina can’t understand why they are getting such a treat.
Adam says Lynette was about to react to him ranting about her going on these runs only for him to tell her that’s the reason he married her and he loves her for being such a great mom.
Jo tells them about his mom bringing him McDonald’s to school and how he still remembers it, Adam jokes about Jo’s mom being a nurse even though she worked at a bank.
Adam is now doing a McDonald’s drive through improv scene with Jo playing his own mother trying to order a ¼ pounder.
Adam has a killer “pair” misunderstanding, his McDonald’s drive thru employee is great.
Adam brings up his old manager when he really worked at MacDonald’s, the infamous Ken.
They’re going back and forth over parfait, funny language barrier riffing.
Adam tells him they don’t have free nuts, Adam realizes how articulate he is for someone who works at McDonalds and compliments his own character.
Adam is now emptying the warming tray for Jo’s mom, funny “haffy meal” line and Star Wars Happy Meal toy closer, Adam wraps it with an “and scene” and gets right into quizzing Jo about his McDonald’s meal of choice as a kid.
Jo is describing his depressing school lunches, Gina has a killer “crinkle, crinkle, sulfur” reply, Adam laments his embarrassing childhood school lunches, going from the free food program in elementary school to his father packing him lunches in junior high.
Gina recalls Adam’s dad ate raisins for dinner and Adam shares how he would eat the leftovers of his rich and slender Jewish friends, as if he lived his life in a Koy pond.
Adam says you essentially become a 7th grade hobo and that he literally panhandled throughout high school.
They close up the conversation with a ‘Zoolander’ reference and Adam is going into a live read.
4Hims.com – Keep your hair for just 5 bucks, you don’t have to go to the doctor Edition
Adam plugs Jo’s live standup special on Netflix and they head to break.
Dave opens the segment, Adam immediately compliments Sonny on winning the father and son fantasy football league, singlehandedly.
Dave finds it hard to imagine that Sonny could win, he cites the role of luck and Adam jokes about driving Sonny insane, taking credit for the win even though he did nothing.
Adam shares how Sonny will go nuts and react to Adam trying to steal credit for the win, Adam says Sonny put his team on the shoulders of Alvin Kamara and Dave makes a point about NFL predictions regarding college players who may not be up to the demands of the league.
Adam is now addressing Dave’s fruit of the year for this past year’s Sheky awards, Adam argues against apples in general and reaffirms his support for cherries.
“how about we eat a salamander…” – Adam
Dave closes the segment
They’re back from break with a listener voicemail, a listener has been approved for a service animal in the office and Adam thanks Tommy John along with Legal Zoom before welcoming Rob Schneider back to the show.
Rob is making his 4th in studio visit, he also has a phoner he made once during the episode with Ed and Matt Asner back in 2010.
Adam and Rob are talking about his Netflix series and the difficulty in getting eyeballs on a project as there are just so many options for entertainment.
Adam says he will right a book titled “Eventually everyone becomes the man” as he explains how all things eventually become stagnant and similar to the industry they once disrupted in the case of this conversation regarding the entertainment business.
Rob is making a point about Rembrandt and his painting being augmented to fit through a doorway, he transitions to an anecdote from Sid Caesar about producing content and having it come out anywhere close to the original intent.
Rob is telling Adam about the impetus to start the first season of his series ‘Real Rob’ and he calls ‘Fawlty Towers’ the pinnacle of situation comedy.
Adam is now making a point about depending on an editor to be funny and to ultimately dictate the final outcome of your project and its comedic tone.
Adam is now riffing about ‘Taken’ and ‘IT’ and how audiences know what to expect from certain properties. Adam makes a point about comedy and uses a broth metaphor.
Rob shares his love for ‘Borat’ and he calls it one of the high points of comedy in the history of the world, Adam shares his love for the movie and Rob explains how it was only released to 850 theaters and there was huge demand to see it on the limited number of screens available.
Tommy John – If you’re ever wearing a suit, put on that Tommy John undershirt Edition
Gina’s News (Rob talks a little during the theme, complimenting Mike Dawson’s voice)
1st Story is on the Golden Globe winners and she sets up some clips, starting with Seth Meyers opening monologue. Adam compliments his jokes and Gina plays a clip of Oprah’s speech.
Adam has an Oprah aside about O magazine and how Oprah once again made the cover, wow!
Rob is asking about why Oprah is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille award despite having such a limited filmography, they’re now listening to the clip of her speech.
Rob makes a point about Hollywood and how WWII played an unexpected role in America taking over the global film market and poaching the best on screen talent.
Adam is now asking about the Vegas odds and how the female led projects are the cause du jour and could benefit from the social concerns of the day.
Rob busts out some Jewish accent work and BB has a killer “your Australian needs some work” before Rob further goes off on how meaningless awards shows are.
Rob brings up the origin of the Nobel fortune, from dynamite and how that is now the symbol of peace globally.
2nd Story is on Oprah’s possible 2020 presidential campaign, Adam says it’s wide open now and he hopes that this opens the door for all kinds of candidates, perhaps the best could now enter the race instead of just the children of former leaders.
Gina asks about the two-party system and BB brings up Oprah’s wealth, he says Donald Trump is not a billionaire presumably based off the data that points to most of his fortune being smoke and mirrors.
Rob quotes a German guy who didn’t run for office despite his popularity, Rob makes a point about presidents having issues of the time to rise to the occasion to face in order to define their legacy in office.
Adam is now making a point about going nuts on the morality thing and he cites Jimmy Carter and how hated he was despite his clean records of behavior.
3rd Story is on Jeff Sessions rescinding of the Obama era mandates on law enforcement regarding legal marijuana and states’ rights.
Adam is making a point about being on the right side of history and how we all know it will be legal, why fight it, why not just move on now and save time and energy.
Rob makes a point about manufacturing and suicide nets outside of cellphone manufacturing facilities.
Rob is now riffing as one of the Apple executives reacting to the employee suicides at Foxconn.
4th Story is on baby names, Gina cites BB’s ballistic reaction to the most popular names of 2017.
Gina says the trendiest name in U.S. history is from 1947, inspired by a popular song.
Rob is making a guesses and Adam drops a great “NeChilla” as the song is playing, Rob keeps dropping guesses and the reveal is the name was “Linda” and Rob is letdown as it’s his sister’s name.
Rob compliments Adam and how impressed he was by Adam painting his kitchen appliances with automotive paint, Adam explains what inspired it.
Adam is telling Rob what happened and how he wanted to replace the stainless-steel look of the modern appliances from Viking.
Adam shares the durability concerns people had about automotive paint, Gina says it looks like a charming farm house as they look at pictures of Adam’s old kitchen from his 2004 remodel.
Gina wraps the news.
Legal Zoom – Resources to keep you on the right path, if you got to go to Mark Geragos you’re spending too much money Edition
(Rob has a funny murder one liner)
Adam welcomes Rob back to the show anytime, Rob comments on Jo Koy also guesting and how that opened the door for “Pinoys” and Adam plugs his upcoming Basic Cable Commentary live show and closes things out before BB plays a great closing drop.
Dawson runs out of steam and closes things out without is paper in front of him with what he’s supposed to say, bizarre.