Episodes

Giovanni’s Superfan Sidebar 01/05/2018 – Coffee Talk with Vinnie Tortorich + ‘The Last Jedi’ Baldywood

A real time blog where Superfan Giovanni does recap and commentary on the show as it happens and opines on all things ACS

Guest Coffee Talk with Vinnie Tortorich + ‘The Last Jedi’ Baldywood

Recorded 01-04-2018 – Release Date 01-05-2018

Production Number #2232

Show Page

Adam Opens the show after a hilarious “Reminding you RCS is no laughing matter” intro courtesy of Mike Dawson and Mike Lynch.

Adam welcomes the gang to the show along with Vinnie and BB plays his ‘That is So Cool’ as today’s #TopDrop.

Adam thanks LifeLock and TrueCar for sponsoring this opening segment.

 

Adam thanks Vinnie for the coffee maker and wonderful coffee he gifted to him, Adam says when you travel you miss your coffee the most and he tells high end hotels to up their coffee game.

Adam is now breaking down coffee drinkers and their experience at home vs. on the road, it’s not up for debate it’s a drug and people need it.

Adam says there as no good coffee options in Maui, Adam is back to the variants of coffee drinkers, those who have their homemade mix dialed in and those who have their Starbucks order perfected.

 

Adam is now pitching some easy hotel modifications such as DVR’s they preload for you the week before you arrive, Vinnie is now telling them about coffee bean quality.

Adam says he feels like he grew up watching coffee commercials, he brings up the fake commercials of the 2010’s and how there is nothing as phony as the person holding the cup of coffee with two hands on the mug.

Adam cites the various other old coffee commercials, he brings up Mrs. Olsen and Juan Valdez who purportedly picked every bean, Adam says he remembers thinking it must have been impossible even as a kid.

 

Adam says Chris must also find the secondary commercial, with the buyer sitting in a port sniffing coffee beans.

Adam remembers formulating some early comedy ideas with these advertisements and their gaps in logic.

Vinnie says he’s on a plane to Costa Rica to experience a “cupping” to purchase some beans for his coffee company.

 

They now have the Mrs. Olsen coffee commercials, Adam calls the guy in the ad a douche and Adam riffs about the Folgers campaign.

Gina says the guy is a terrible painter.

Adam says we need to find out where Mrs. Olsen was from and now Chris has the commercial with Juan Valdez, with the buyer.

It’s the wrong commercial, Gina asks about Taster’s Choice replacing their coffee with restaurant coffee.

 

Adam mocks the notion of margarine tasting more like butter than butter and how implausible that is.

Adam says he grew up on a steady diet of advertisements and commercial plots of wives distressed they weren’t pleasing their husbands enough.

Gina tells them about the industrial sized packet of Sanka they had in their kitchen when she was growing up.

 

Adam is now telling them about his step grandfather Lotzi and the “who want’s coffee?” question from her grandma which resulted in real coffee being made if more than 2 people wanted it, if just Adam raised his hand it was freeze dried garbage.

Adam is mocking the horrible grit of instant coffee, he mocks his grandma and the notion that they weren’t worth coffee.

Vinnie turns down his headphones as he predicts Adam would yell in reply to his addition to the conversation, which doesn’t happen.

 

Adam says his kids are missing out on the joy of a coffee can, now everything is in a useless dolphin choking pouch.

Adam doesn’t think a coffee can has ever been recycled, Adam says it was a durable good at the Carolla house.

BB says his parents never drank coffee, Adam brings up his how they came home from Maui and he asked Lynette why his parents didn’t have a nay friends, he says Daniel had Sonny on his shoulders, they were snorkeling and Gina brings up Adam’s mom’s hippy friends.

 

Adam shares how he was hit two times, both in the back of a Volvo.

Vinnie asks about the two incidents, he shares the names of both adults who hit him, Grandpa Al Lewis and Roberta, the mother of his friend Monte.

Adam shares how Roberta felt it was necessary to tell his mom, Adam says he wonders if he could have convinced her he wouldn’t tell that stoned bitch about being hit.

 

Gina has an anecdote, Adam teases what Vinnie will be getting into.

 

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Chris can’t find the commercial Adam wants of the coffee buyer.

 

Adam is asking Vinnie about health and fitness New Years Resolutions, he tells people to work themselves back in slowly.

Adam is now talking about wiring and how people break diets and then slide into insanity and everything becomes “game on” which Adam argues isn’t necessary.

Vinnie talks about hormones that get released from breaking a diet, he has some practical advice.

 

Vinnie talks about the pie talking to you as you walk through the house, how you can’t just have a single slice.

BB brings up the “I’m already in. might as well” move where people slide into bad eating habits based on a single poor choice.

Adam has a funny “butt funnel of fudge” riff and Adam is talking about shared items at a restaurant, BB brings up August’s incredible appetite that was demonstrated on the Carolla Cruise.

 

Adam shares his inability to pass up the Sees Candy sampler packs, Adam is asking Vinnie for more tips for changing your lifestyle.

Vinnie says there is nothing worse than chewing gum for regulating appetite, Vinnie says it’s masturbating and BB has a funny query aimed at Gina.

Adam sums up what Vinnie said about gum and appetite, Vinnie shares how listeners motivate him with their stories of weight loss.

 

Vinnie is showing them some results, Adam has a nice Mrs. Olsen reference and Adam talks about being fat and what it does to one’s overall health.

Gina asks about Mariah Carey and her gastric bypass surgery, Vinnie gives his take on the surgery and how it should never be used to lose 25lbs.

Adam compares it to welfare and free housing, how it corrupts someone when they attempt to get a free lunch out of nature.

 

Vinnie says he suffers from motion sickness and Adam has a killer “raped them violently in the aisle” after Vinnie reveals he used to apologize to fellow passengers on the plane.

Vinnie prefaces that he doesn’t want any tweets and BB marvels at his anger level, Adam says it’s like how he used to yell “Drew” at his wife and other people as he was so used to arguing with Drew in the Loveline era.

Vinnie is telling them about a medicating he takes that remedies his motion sickness.

 

Q and Ace

1st Caller Cokie, he wants to know how to best maximize weight loss, Vinnie tells him where to target his hear rate and Adam asks how one monitors this stuff.

Vinnie says if you can run with your mouth closed you’re likely in cardiovascular zone 2, Adam is now mocking the channels provided at the gym, Adam wants the employees to thin out the total channels, only having a select group of options.

Vinnie shares his love for watching the large screen in the gym, he was watching he poetry of F1 racing only for some ass-hat to change it to soccer.

 

Adam is convinced there is a channel at his gym that only plays Shark Tank repeats, Adam marvels at how it’s always playing at the gym despite his time of arrival to work out.

 

2nd Caller Josh, he wants to know about the best nuts to eat. Vinnie recommends Pili nuts and Adam demands his power ranking of nuts.

BB has a drop of Vinnie saying “Give me the power ranking of nuts” and he quickly lists them off.

They head to the next caller but they’ve hung up.

 

True CarStandard Live Read Edition

 

Adam plugs the upcoming Basic Cable Commentary live show and formally invited Vinnie to join them on stage for the proceedings.

Adam heads to break

 

Good Sports

Dave starts the episode talking about the NFL playoffs that are now upon us, Dave says if you believe in merit this is a bad system to determine who is the best in the league.

Dave wants the no longer used world series system, Adam says he’s for any way to squeeze more time out of the season.

Adam comments on the bizarre depression that hits him in the off season, Adam wishes a pox on people who schedule children’s games and activities on Super Bowl Sunday.

 

Adam says this is you going Dave Matthews Tour Bus on the rest of the world, that is what you’re doing when you schedule crap on Super bowl Sunday.

Adam is now explaining how true car guys don’t care about sports, despite any stereotypes about it being the other way.

Adam brings up Matt D’Andria and his love for cars, he compares him to Jay Leno and further explains his point.

 

Adam is sharing the “Women no nothing about WWII” proclamation on Loveline and he defends his logic before sharing the story of the time Kelly Osbourne was on Loveline and despite claiming to be an expert in WWII she couldn’t name the allied and the axis powers.

Dave tells strangers not to come up ands talk to him about sports unless they know their stuff and then he wraps up the segment.

 

They’re back from break with Ozzie reading a listener review from iTunes, Adam says Corey Feldman has rescheduled and he’ll be on soon.

 

Hooray for BaldyWood

BB saw The Last Jedi, Adam asks about the fan revolt in reaction to this movie.

BB says he worse Star Wars socks for this movie and tells them about the hovering Bluetooth speaker his mom bought him of the Death Star.

Adam has a killer “Rogue Juan” one liner and BB is going over his love for Rian Johnson and Adam asks about the movie ‘Looper’ and he explains he recalls it getting a mixed reaction.

 

Gina reads the Rotten Tomatoes score for ‘Looper’ and BB talks about the plot structure of the film, he compares it to ‘Dunkirk’ and he addresses the jokes that come fast and furious at the audience.

BB says we have entered the Roger Moore era of Star Wars, Adam asks about the jokes in the script and if they let up at all.

Chris is weighing in and gets a thank you from BB, BB tells them about Luke Skywalker brushing some dirt off his shoulder in the third act, BB shares the “Goat cheese pizza” analogy a fan made to him on twitter.

 

Adam asks about styles becoming en vogue and how history is not kind to feathered hair nor shabby sheik, BB is now bringing up the movie ‘Moonraker’ and how they sent Bond to space to compete with Star Wars and other films in the sci-fi genre.

Adam asks about the diversity in the movie, trying to figure out why the critics are rating this so highly.

BB is tackling the Casino planet subplot, perhaps the biggest letdown in all of the series. He brings up The Kardashian reality shows and the way they structure plots within each episode.

 

BB brings up Justin Theroux and Adam says he talked to him for like 90 minutes last week, he tells them how he’s a super nice guy and how Natalia took a picture with Jennifer Aniston.

Gina is now sharing her take on the movie, Adam wants to know why the diverse reception among viewers and critics.

BB wraps up the segment.

 

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Gina’s News

1st Story Is an update on Adam’s rant about Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen wearing multiple parkas and giant gloves for the New Years Eve Times Square televised event.

Adam is talking about men being douches in the modern era and Gina explains Anderson Cooper shelled out over 3k on electric clothing to heat himself while broadcasting.

Adam says Maria Menounos has more grit than Anderson Cooper has in his entire body.

 

2nd Story is on Mike Tyson’s new Marijuana business plan, Adam is telling the gang about Mike Tyson wanting to interview Adam for his podcast.

Adam didn’t know how it was going to end up, he was asking about it and he explains it was taped at Golden Boy productions in Los Angeles.

Adam explains there is this thing that people do where they don’t send a flunky down to wave you up or direct you to parking, nobody assists talent.

 

Adam says he found a spot to park in downtown L.A. before walking around a dark commercial building looking for the studio, Adam has a killer The Hitman Tommy Hearns joke.

Adam says Peter Rosenberg was hosting the show while Mike ate miniature hard pretzels, the worst thing to eat on mic.

Gina has the details of Mike’s business and BB talks about partying with the Kardashians, the 2nd time he’s brought them up which receives some ire from the staff, including Chris.

 

Adam is talking about marijuana as a way of life, he says alcohol doesn’t do that, it doesn’t become your identity.

Adam talks about statistics about bank loans and the way people confuse correlation and causation, citing Gavin Newsom and his poor arguments and lies he espoused on the show.

 

3rd Story is on Kim and Kanye moving into their new Hidden Hills home, which has a strict no jewelry policy.

Adam is now playing Kanye West covering Queen, he jokes about pumping in Jim Gaffigan when he plays a live show.

Adam is letting them hear Kanye performing live, poorly singing along with Queen.

 

Adam asks when the genius steps in, where is the genius!?

BB says this is like Michael Jordan with Baseball, Adam thinks he wanted to prove something to himself and he was ok at the sport.

Adam says what we just heard was poor karaoke, Adam thinks people are stupid and they buy into this stuff.

 

Adam says if you can do what Ben Folds does, then you do what Ben does. Adam uses Prince to make a point about Yoko Ono and The Beastie Boys.

Adam says they had to fool dumb people, you have to be dumb to like Kanye.

Adam is sharing his argument with Daniel Kellison, who was saying Adam wanted to watch Mariah Carey, citing how lame she was, Adam doesn’t care about lame nor does he measure coolness.

 

Gina brings up the actors acting out ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on YouTube, Gina plays the clip and Adam jokes about not being this unhappy since he saw “Two Lepers and a cup” on YouTube.

BB and Gina are both well versed in this video and Adam says he feels that people are trying to be cool by liking Kanye, or claiming they like Kanye.

Adam needn’t be validated in his existence through the coolness of an artist, he just experiences their talents and moves on.

 

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Adam is further mocking the Beastie Boys who he sways eventually learned to play their instruments, BB asks about Celine Dion and Mariah Carey and the instruments they play and Adam says how dare you, saying the Beastie Boys can’t sing.

BB says the Beastie Boys are world class rappers, Chris steps in and makes a point about live performances.

 

4th Story is on the people living on Bell End Road petitioning the local government to the street name changed in the UK.

Adam jokes about them changing the name to “Cum Bucket Way” and shares a 100 to 0 kid’s basketball game anecdote from Dennis Prager, where Prager said he would rather be the father of a kid on the losing team, it’s a better story.

Adam is arguing for this street name building character and also benefiting people’s hypothetical porn names, it’s the perfect street name for that.

 

Adam is now doing a back and forth with Isaac Hayes, asking him about heaven and telling him to check in more often.

BB is excellent with his drop work, Adam is crushing it and they are flowing like they planned this.

Adam is asking about the saying “Bell End” and Chris shares a link from 1992 where it made its first appearance online as Adam is trying to discover why this wasn’t an issue sooner, was this saying around during World War II?

Gina wraps the news.

 

Geico Put that extra money in your pocket, get yourself something nice for the New Year Edition

 

Adam gives out the plugs and wraps up the show, BB plays “I’ll share it with the world, I’m a puss” drop from the first news story about the skiwear worn by Anderson Cooper during the live NYC Time Square Ney Year’s Eve television special.

Dawson closes out the show.

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