Craig Shoemaker


Listen to the Adam Carolla Podcast  


Show Summary

At the top of the show, Adam continues his rant on the length of his audiobook. He also talks about some home made pies he received at a recent live show, and the guys discuss the potential dangers of accepting food from strangers. Adam also tells a story involving Lynette and Whoopie Goldberg, and the guys play a round of Blah Blah Blog.

Craig Shoemaker enters the studio next, and Adam asks him about doing standup for more than twenty years. The guys also talk about the importance of parental support, or lack thereof. Alison then starts up the news discussing the death of Norah Ephron, and a chimp death at the LA Zoo. Adam also rants about animal cage design and NyQuil pills.

Craig talks with the guys about his relationship with his dad, and some of the bizarre scams he had to help him with. The guys also talk about raising a teenager, and then go on a tangent about horseshoe crabs. As the show wraps up, Adam takes a couple of listener calls, and the guys discuss the renaming of Big Ben and failed sitcom catch phrases.


Visit http://CraigShoemaker.com for more info, and also follow him on Twitter @TheLoveMaster.


Merton Hanks Chicken Dance

Bruce Jenner Can’t Stop The Music

Oooh, I’m Tellin Mama

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

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  1. Iwant2c

    Didn’t get a chance to see the Mr. Birchum video before you removed it. Will you be putting it back up?

  2. fuck


  3. Jack

    LOL Aceman, damn, they took the Birchum pilot down already? I should have gotten it. Sure, it’s their property, but it’s not like they were going to do anything with it. Maybe like Alison said you might get a call in two years.

    • Spoodeni

      Birchum animatic was great while it was up. Had the great refined look like the later seasons of King of the Hill, but way funnier…like the earlier seasons of King of the Hill. Doesn’t anybody else miss good, scripted, down to earth television shows?!?!

    • MC White
      MC White06-28-2012

      Why would Adam take down the video without a reason, you know how he never “listens to the man.” Ohh, yeah, it’s down. I guess this time he had to “listen to the man.” Funny how big movie and tv companies don’t like how you to use their intellectual property, without their consent.

  4. Prawn Ornament
    Prawn Ornament06-27-2012

    Bald Brian shoulda taken that in-studio fart and time stretched and pitched lowered it. Tack that nasty to the end to push the audio book over the goal line.

    F aa a a a a a a rr r r r r r r r r t t t t t t t (gooooooooooooooooooooaaalllllllllllll)


    Just make it part of the 2nd Ed. DO IT NOW! It’d be like a record…Shortest time between editions.

    • MC White
      MC White06-28-2012

      This is a hilarious idea. Go for it Aceman! What a classy 2nd edition.

  5. Mark

    Ah, so there you have it: back to #1 on iTunes within days of posting shows recorded in the STUDIO . . .

  6. MC White
    MC White06-27-2012

    Hey Listeners: Why the fuck do you hand shit to Adam on the road? Why don’t you smile, and let him know of a gift coming his way, then ship it to him? So easy-peasy for him, and you also get to show him your “puss” before he gets the gift, so he sees it’s originator. Start shipping gifts to him, and save him some “carrying stress” a’iiight? Use your big heads, not your little heads.

    Mr. Manners

  7. Admiral Kent
    Admiral Kent06-27-2012

    Nice episode photo…but it “begs the question,” what the hell happened to Kevin Costner?

    • MC White
      MC White06-28-2012

      I heard he’s a major douchebag. Check out the extras on “Field of Dreams.” There’s a segment, where real, MLB retired players, show up to watch the movie with Kevin (yeah, I know, gay) and at the beginning, one of the players, tries to talk to Kevin, and perhaps be a little over familiar with him. Kevin, gives him the snobbiest, dirtiest look and attitude. You can see the player is a bit affected by the mal-treatment. Later, after the movie has been watched, the player is barely even giving Kevin any attention, or infatuation. You might not notice it, if you weren’t like I am, but being told to watch for it, you’ll notice it.

      Very telling of the kind of person Kevin Costner is.

      • atticus finch
        atticus finch07-06-2012

        hahaha u took on little thing and have determined cosnter is a prick? wow. i just saw him on tmz signing a bunch of crap for a very pushy admirerer. seemed like a cool guy

  8. Mike

    i think i’ll go hug my dad. This guys’ dad sounds like a world class moron.

  9. Charles

    The YMCA video is like a window into Richard Simons daydream. The only possible way to make it any more gay would be to have a 70’s style sign language bubble in the corne of the frame with two dudes blowing each other in it!

  10. Mark

    I went to a Beach Boys concert a few weeks ago. It was fucking awesome. If you get a chance to see them, do it.

  11. El Jefe
    El Jefe06-27-2012

    Where did the Birchum video go?? I want to see it!!!

  12. Employee7

    “This is how a chicken would dance if it was wearing a toupe on his junk.”

  13. Howard

    The world would be so nice if it were as simple as Adam thinks it is… Adam – For your explanation of how normal taxes are “Robbin Hood” taxes, please explain to me where I can get away from paying my taxes, and where I can get your tax money. I’m 25 y/o and paying 23% on my $38-40k/yr income… Mitt Romney paid 15% tax on his $40+ million of capital gains last year (that’s interest on money he already has). How about we all pay 15% or we all pay 23% tax on everything? End of discussion. End of sounding ignorant. Middle class and lower class don’t want the rich’s money, just a fair tax system where they don’t get screwed and the rich rewarded.

    You’re too smart to sound so simple minded.

    • Ernie

      So you paid $9,200, and Romney paid $6,000,000. I know you think its uneven, but until you’re still contributing $5,990,800 less to the pot than him (actually a lot more since that is just his capital gains taxes). Why does he owe that much more than you?

      When you buy things, do you expect the rich to pay more for them than you do, and the very poor to get them for free?

      • Ernie

        “Until” was a typo.

    • reb

      nice grasp of marginal tax rates

    • Charles

      When your income comes from dividends, re distributions, or other sales of property, interest is a company, or any other of a dozen ways rich people make money it s cosidere capital gains, and this is taxed at a different rate than traditional income. The idea is that the capital source for these endeavors has already been taxed. Essentially it is double taxation on this income. When wealthy people retire their income shifts to the profits of the wise investments they made and is taxed at that rate.

    • Matt

      So Howard, the poor doesn’t want the rich ppls money? Where do u think entitlements/welfare come from? The rich dumb shit. Top 10% pay 90% of taxes. Government pays welfare and entitlement bs, where does govt get its money? Take a minute to think about it…….taxes. So shut your fuckin mouth and think about what you type for two minutes if you’ve got a brain before u attempt scolding Adam.

  14. Juliet Tyler
    Juliet Tyler06-27-2012

    We’re going on day three of that shirt lol

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012

      One day, three episodes.
      We’ve gone over this ad-nauseam.

      • atticus finch
        atticus finch07-06-2012

        u da man poochie

  15. Juicefest3400

    Here is the problem with handing a Horseshoe Crab to a Creationist and asking them ‘Doesn’t this look 200 million years old eh?”.
    They would be delighted to explain it is not 200myo. It is maybe 1 year old. And this is exactly why they have huge problems with the theory of evolution which would have you believe astonishing environmental pressures + genetic mutation + selection transformed one group of ‘Horseshoe Crab’ critters into fish, fish with legs, reptiles, dinosaurs, then into birds – YET – in the same place in the ocean, over the same eons of changes, the Horseshoe Crab does not evolve. And if it was so perfectly adapted (which is the only answer available to be given by an evolution believer) then its odd the others did not transform, eventually into Horseshoe crabs.
    The creationist would point out that fossils of horseshoe crabs are best explained by rapid burial in mud (Noah’s flood) and the survivors simply remained.. horseshoe crabs. Which just exist today. As they always did. The Creationist sees the Horseshoe Crab as great observable scientific evidence for their position.
    Good show btw.. that guy was hilarious and I gotta say Alison and Bald Brian were both at the top of their game. Loved this one!
    *I miss being a kid. We saw that village people movie and it NEVER once occurred to us there was any homosexuality involved. (not sure we heard of gays yet). We just assumed they were meant to be an actual construction worker, policeman etc. I remember a sibling laughed at how bad the ‘Biker’ actor was. He commented on how real bikers would be tough and how the actor totally failed to be tough enough. Honestly, we had no idea.

  16. Bo B Blevans
    Bo B Blevans06-27-2012

    I use vulture shampoo…shit on Dove

  17. Dan Penny
    Dan Penny06-27-2012

    Surprisingly great guest, have him back soon.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012

      Shoemaker is a great stand-up comedian.
      He is very well respected in the stand-up comedy world.

  18. Bo B Blevans
    Bo B Blevans06-27-2012

    I’m going to start using “mule barge”

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012

      Good name for T’s V.

  19. AceFan!

    Tom Hanks rules. Excellent taste Ace.

  20. Dustin

    Was weird how much this dude sounded like Ray.

    • thedecade

      It’s weird how much Adam uses the word ‘weird.’

    • Huck

      I was gonna post the same thing. I was like, I’ve heard this guy somewhere….RAY!

    • Ryan II
      Ryan II06-27-2012

      Yes. Yes. I kept hearing it too.

  21. MyDadsRubberBroke

    Great show, Craig Shoemaker’s Don Knotts rules.

  22. Admiral Kent
    Admiral Kent06-27-2012

    Holy Shit…is that a pre-Jeni’d Jon Erik Hexum massaging Ms. Teschmacher in that Village People clip? (Too much?)

  23. reb

    two “amuse bouche” references in two days; it’s been played out for at least two years

  24. stnuntrnd

    Craig digging under houses with a sawed-off shovel:
    wish Adam had gotten into the details of cesspool to sewer conversion, a la AOTH podcast.
    Isn’t the cesspool located well away from the house, so why dig under the house?

  25. Bsb

    Adam has had the same shirt on for weeks..

    • Matt

      Holy shit good call way to pick up on the shirt

  26. Dave

    This dude Craig needs to relax, take a deep breath, and stop trying to make a joke every second. It’s annoying

  27. Dave

    No offense to Craig but I think that’s why he got left out of blah blah blog

  28. Gabriel

    Adam seemed to rush over Craig’s plug at the end when Craig mentioned his podcast on the toadhop network. I know that toadhop’s owner, Frank, has made jabs at Adam on his podcast a while back and that Adam had made jabs at Frank (& Heidi from his KLSX radio days) in the past as well. I’ve always wondered why there seems to be bad blood between them.

  29. BW

    How about putting a small summary introducing the guests?

    • Prison Mike
      Prison Mike06-27-2012

      I agree- sometimes I have no idea who these guests are- just putting “author” “stand-up comic” or “UFC Fighter” would help.

  30. 49 cent
    49 cent06-27-2012

    that dude looks like Jerry Sandusky

    • MC White
      MC White06-28-2012

      I get the sounds like Ray, but “looks like Jerry Sandusky?” Are you nuts?

  31. shannon murphy
    shannon murphy06-27-2012

    Anybody else think that guy sounded like Ray Oldhafer?

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012


  32. Ivan

    Alison, keep up the great work.

  33. Chester

    Hold on a second. I’m confused. It turns out that Adam DOESN’T like Whoopi Goldberg??? Huh. Who knew? The more you know….

  34. Derrick

    I don’t know if anyone on the show caught it or if it was my sound system, but there has been a very annoying high pitched squeek. It sounds as if someone perhaps was rocking back and forth in one of those POS office chairs. It would intermittently scratch at my ear drums like nails on a chalk board.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012

      Just you.

  35. Dave

    Just a note about Robin Hood.

    It is common to believe Robin Hood was about taking from the rich and giving to the poor.

    However, Robin Hood was about a wronged citizen taking back what he thought was owed to him and his cohorts from the government.

    The Sheriff of Nottingham was an over taxing government official who was corrupt, not just “a rich guy.”

    • MC White
      MC White06-28-2012

      Yes, I’m sure the fable is quite different than the actual truth. Seriously, you think some guy really gave a crap about helping the poor? Puhleeeze!

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-28-2012

      …but did he wear green tights and hang out with a bunch of merry old men?

  36. Sig

    damn it, should have downloaded the Birchum vid, hopefully others did and will reload it

  37. Kelly

    Criag Shoemaker is awsome. He’s hilarious in concert. Just subscribed to his potcast – I didn’t know he had one.

  38. Luvmastter

    Shoemaker is so damn funny. Go check out his Love Master sketch on Youtube.

  39. zero1media

    Shoemaker was a surprisingly great guest, and extremely interesting with his stories as well. Al though it did feel like Adam shoulda let him tell those stories a little more; it felt like he kept cutting him off right when he was about to get into an interesting point of his personal tale. This comedian woulda been a great candidate for the old long-format interviews Adam used to do.

  40. The Great White Bunny King
    The Great White Bunny King06-28-2012


  41. Daniel

    I love the fumble in the Merton Hanks video. Why? Because today that would be an incomplete pass. That’s how retarded we’ve become.

    Check that, it would have been two TV timeouts and 10 minutes of review, THEN it would have been an incomplete pass.

  42. WarrenJ

    Concerning the Zoo rant (yeah, I know, I am almost a week late) the animals, especially the reptiles, need to have a place to go to hide. As a member of 2 Southern California Reptile Clubs, I can tell you that if the reptiles don’t have a go-to area where they can feel safe, then they can get stressed-out, and possibly get sick and die. I know this sucks if you were hot to observe them, but that is just the way it is concerning responsible reptile husbandry. That said, Adam brings up an interesting idea concerning just making the enclosure white so they can be seen, on the off chance that they are outside of their respective hide areas.

  43. attack_crows

    Craig sounds a lot like Ray!

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