Ben Schwartz


Listen to the Adam Carolla Podcast  


Show Summary

Adam talks about going on a diet, only to be surrounded by delicious food. He also mentions the upcoming release of his new book, ‘Not Taco Bell Material,’ and emphasizes the importance of working hard and working for free. The guys then watch clips from a 20/20 update of the Rutger’s Webcam Scandal, and Adam rants about the lack of real journalism in the media.

Ben Schwartz joins the show next, and talks about working with Don Cheadle and the rest of the cast of ‘House of Lies’. He talks about his experience faxing in freelance jokes for David Letterman, as well as for Saturday Night Live. The guys also have some fun with Virtual Adam and Isaac Hayes.

Alison starts up the news talking about the largest Lotto prize in history, and Adam discusses how the lottery goes against everything this country should stand for. The guys also revisit the argument of whether or not dogs like to eat pie, and talk to a caller who refused to go to his company’s sexual harassment training. As the show wraps up, the group comments on weird words banned from state tests, and James Cameron’s journey to the bottom of the ocean.


Catch the season finale of House of Lies, Sunday April 1st on Showtime. Also find out more about Ben at http://RejectedJokes.com

20/20 Rutger’s Webcam Scandal (available for limited time only)

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

  1. Siv

    Jean Ralphio!!!

  2. malcolm

    great show, great guest. Ben Schwartz brought it!

  3. crowTrobot

    Brilliant episode! Starts with a great sobering poignant rant about the Dharun Ravi case until the guest arrived and it was relentlessly funny until the end.

    • rick

      Adam’s views on the Ravi case are disgusting and hyprocitcal.

      -Just a few weeks ago he was criticizing someone who insulted a conservative public personality after he had passed away, yet he is insulting this young man who passed away, calling him a wierdo.thef

      -The purpose of the cam wasn’t to prevent any kind of theft the second time he did it. he tweeted an invite visable to all of the public for people to watch. He even tested it to make sure it was pointed at his roommate’s bed.

      -Why should the clip of Ravi claiming his innocnce be taken with any seriousness?!? Jails all over the world are filled with people who claim to be innocent, is Adam going to just take them at their word and say they got screwed too?

      Funny guy, just stay away from serious issues.

      • Justin

        I kinda agree, BUT, this is exactly what trials are for….no one can draw a conclusion based on what the news says. Bottom line, leave it up to the courts, unfortunately, it’s the best way to handle criminal cases. And if you don’t like what someone says on thier free podcast, unsub.

        • chuckiegorman

          OK, but they did have a trial.

  4. Katie


    enjoy! working on a blog page for these!



    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-29-2012

      That’s good eatin’.

  5. NicK

    I overheard the Ravi case on Bill Mahar as well. I can’t believe the media is picking on this kid for being a kid. Who’s the bully now? Nonetheless rest of the podcast was Awesome, especially with Ben Schwartz. Keep getting it on!

  6. nope

    Adam try having someone read the following Slate article to you for a balanced description of the Rutgers incident:


  7. Sluggh

    Shit, Bernie Kosar. Good get, Ace!

  8. zenergi

    gotta be in it to win it!

  9. Joel M
    Joel M03-29-2012

    This show hasnt really mad me laugh in a while. The “boot straps” rants are really wearing thin. And some of the guests are completely uninteresting. I usually listen everyday, but now……

    • Medium

      No one gives a fuck if you don’t listen everyday. If you really were going to stop listening you would and you wouldn’t announce to us that you are. Listen or don’t, but no one cares. Especially Adam.

    • Jason

      Are you talking about today’s show? Because I found this particular show to be hilarious and the guest excellent. Made me laugh a lot.

  10. GOD

    good pod!

  11. rusty400

    why would someone’s body weight and grade point average negate any homophobic tendancies? that’s kind of a piss poor argument. and was there any call as to whether the clementi kid was clinically depressed? and even if he was, the case is based on cyber bullying, right? so the kid who got in trouble caught his roommate in a compromising position that he might not have wanted to get out in the open. clementi was out but that doesn’t mean he wanted people watching him to stuff with his boyfriends. i’m sorry, but adam is wrong about this particular rant. he’s getting more and more crotchity as the years go on. i feel like his rants, sometimes, are making less and less sense and are predicated on the idea that he technically knows more than everyone else.

    • blargy

      Adam is right on about Clementi. The media is doing the same thing with this Zimmerman story now.

    • GOD

      Rusty, maybe you should focus on the facts and not your feelings. It makes you look stupid. Just ask Spike Lee about that.

    • Jason

      I agree with Adam about this case.

  12. reb

    for those of us who did grow up around parents who constantly blathered about “hard work,” adam’s pretty simplistic take on it is a bit tiresome.

    and what’s with being so affronted that an underling expressed that she didn’t like a movie — “not my demographic” — where all other forms of ass-kissing are rightly ridiculed? similarly, why the weird obsession about people who don’t make the entirely pointless gesture of “feet wiping” at the front door?

  13. John

    Just another example of Adam cherry picking a lottery winner, Jimmy Kimmel, and then going on to explain how Jimmy deserves it. Isn’t this the same guy that never shows up for meetings, told Jimmy that he didn’t want to learn to splice tape, and shows up while the intro music is still playing? Pick anyone that is successful and then tell me why they deserve it and I can find millions of people that deserve it just as much. Millions. Enjoy your success. But, stop acting like people deserve millions of dollars because they work hard. It’s such a bogus argument. Millions of Americans work hard. Billions of people work hard. 1 percent have all the money. Celebrity is a lottery win. Plain and simple. If millions of people know who you are, then you will be rich. It doesn’t matter what you do, what talent you have, or how hard you work. If millions of people know who you are, then you can host a show. You can take that into very obvious territory… as in Jersey shore folk or less obvious… as in Talk show host. There are 3 or 4 talk shows. They were there and got it. Now, they are millionaires and everyone knows who they are. Don’t try to tell me that Leno is a better talk show host than some other comedian. Celebrity is a lottery win. Period.

  14. boss

    love the juxtaposition of the supposed bullying of the gay roommate to the story adam told yesterday of one of his friends being pissed on and fighting back with his own shit. what a different time we’re living in.

  15. Daniel


    • Sam


  16. Nilmot

    Jean Ralphio was absolutely hilarious in that joke-writing-steriods bit.

  17. Reb

    Anything about “this society” is a guaranteed 10-minute bore. And “I’ve said this before” is a sign of early onset blowhardism.

    • yossarian


  18. Alison is my dumb best friend
    Alison is my dumb best friend03-29-2012

    Preach it, Aceman! The media creates victims where there are none, to craft public opinion in ways they want. Joe the Plumber got a media colonoscopy for playing catch with his kid, but we zoomed past Jeremiah Wright because Obama ‘wasn’t listening.’ Which one was more news worthy?

  19. Matt H
    Matt H03-29-2012

    You know who commented here before all of us? …..Swiss explorer Jacques Piccard!

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-29-2012

      Yeah he did.

  20. Afee

    Dharun Ravi is a former Rutgers University student who used a webcam hidden in his dormitory room to spy on his roommate kissing another man. The roommate, Tyler Clementi, jumped to his death from the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010, after discovering that Mr. Ravi had secretly streamed his romantic interlude over the Internet.

    Mr. Ravi had sent two days earlier; it read: “Roommate asked for the room until midnight. I went into molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.”

    That night, Mr. Clementi saved a screen shot of another Twitter post from Mr. Ravi, which read: “I dare you to chat me between the hours of 9:30 and midnight. Yes, it’s happening again.”

    Ms. Wei’s room across the hall, they turned on Mr. Ravi’s webcam and for a few seconds saw Mr. Clementi kissing the other man before they turned off the camera.she later turned Mr. Ravi’s webcam back on to show the scene to her roommate and three female friends.

    Mr. Ravi, knowing that Mr. Clementi had invited his date over again that night, set up the iChat function on Mr. Ojha’s laptop to test that the webcam was directed at Mr. Clementi’s bed.

    Mr. Ojha said that Mr. Ravi encouraged him to send text messages to other friends to alert them to watch his Twitter feed, where he told them to turn on their computers to watch the webcam feed.

    -The New York Times

  21. CJ

    John Ralphio! Excellent guest, great with the “Yes, and…”

  22. Zapoli

    Fair point about the media hype, but Ravi wasn’t “strung up.” He wasn’t convicted of causing his roommate’s death. He was convicted of invasion of privacy because he set up a hidden webcam. (He really did.) The jury — not the media — found that he was motivated by anti-gay bias. He denies it, surprise surprise. Adam can see himself having done the same thing if there had been webcams in 1982. Fair enough. Maybe it shouldn’t be a crime. (It should.) But it is. Adam doth protest too much. Anyone who watches TMZ as much as Adam isn’t really that exercised about journalistic standards.

  23. social bobcat
    social bobcat03-29-2012

    in reference to Adam’s idea for a children’s book, he may have been beaten to the market


  24. Ras

    Alison – TOTAL FAIL on the Clementi news! Way to go being informed!

    BTW – I think the entire Clementi case should not be factoring in the gay angle. The main question needs to be what are the consequences for video recording roommates having sex in their dorm room and putting it on the internet – period. So Aceman, forget the gay angle – if Natalia is getting banged by her boyfriend and someone decides to video record her having sex because she is pretty – is that cool with you or not? Please forget the gay part and just focus on the fact a college roommate video recorded someone else. Adam, Ravi tweeted about the notice to have people watch the sex going on

  25. Ras

    BTW – Aceman – I agree totally with you about the media bullshit angle – I am not saying you are wrong on any of that. I am just saying the defense fucked up by focusing on the gay angle

  26. maxman

    Great rant about the media. Similar thing is goin on with the trayvon martin case right now.

  27. Matt

    I usually like the pod but any time Adam starts talking about social issues, I feel myself getting physically angry. Pretty sick shit for someone to be defending Dharun Ravi that vehemently and turning it into a societal issue rather than admitting that the kid’s a dick who did something wrong and should have taken the deal given to him, rather than going to trial. Of course, Adam is too old and stubborn to ever change his ways, read more than one side of an issue and admit that he’s a little bit of a bigot and a lot a bit of a hypocrite. But is anyone else having a problem justifying listening to 65% funny when the other 35% of the podcast can be so terribly fucked up? I think Adam is really funny but when it comes to politics or race or gender or sexuality or really anything substantive, his positions are so, so, so wrong it’s incredible.

    Get it on, though.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-29-2012

      No problem here. It’s 100% funny to me.

    • stnuntrnd

      35% of the podcast is not messed up; Adam has the ability to point out the 35% of what’s wrong with our “evolved” society. Rutgers (and other universities) need to make available counseling, to provide a place for students to discuss a predicament like the one Dharun found himself in.

    • PB

      Agree. A funny dude, but most of his political and society rants are just tiring.

  28. Alex

    Why is Adam taking Ravi’s side of the story as gospel?

  29. Juanito

    Great show! Life is like Carolla’s podcast, you never know what you’re gonna get, but I am sure it will be fueled by anger.

  30. Mose

    I didn’t realize that it was Jean Ralphio until I looked at the picture after I listened to the episode which was hilarious. He should be a returning guest for sure.

  31. JessMan

    new book pre-ordered, man show dvds added to cart, happy jessman when they all arrive

  32. Mike D in Mpls
    Mike D in Mpls03-29-2012

    Ben Schwartz is awesome… House of Lies is awesome too. That was a fun one.

  33. Andrew


    How can you complain about the intern that turned into the Director of Comedy at NBC? She got coffee and worked all these extra free hours to get up the food chain. Today you go the other way b/c Kimmel did free work and got to where he is from that.

    What is the difference?

    • Romulus

      Jimmy’s actually funny.

  34. red from pdx
    red from pdx03-29-2012

    I only knew this guy from his Parks & Rec appearances, but WOW, he could be a regular on the show, at least once a week or two. well done!

  35. Brian in Campbell
    Brian in Campbell03-29-2012

    Aceman for president. The Clementi rant nailed the truth in ten minutes. Not one elected representative or media news reader has gotten it right yet, in ten weeks.

  36. poorjavier

    I’m buyin’ my Mega Million tix. When I win…golden urinals for everybody. Plated not solid.

  37. Kelly

    I agree 100% with Matt. Adam is funny but he is a bigot. He clearly doesn’t care for blacks, gays and women. Still a great podcast.

  38. john

    Related to the Lottery rant. I live in Nevada, where gambling is legal, but Lotteries are outlawed in the state constitution.

    I want to exercise my right to be bad at math and spend a dollar to dream.

  39. OvieTheGr8

    Funny that a man who never went to college has so much knowledge about what it’s like to live in a dorm room with a roommate… I’d love to hear Adam’s thoughts if it were his son (OR daughter to borrow a phrase from Deacon Jones) having their sexual acts being broadcasted/tweeted for others to see.

    The case isn’t about driving someone to jump off of a bridge, it’s about invasion of privacy, which Ravi is 100% guilty of.

    • Ras

      Agree – this is why I think the entire focus going to the gay angle was a fuck up on all involved. This is a violation of privacy matter.

      Everyone think of all the incidents of college kids having sex (gay or straight) in their dorm rooms right now. Now imagine even a portion of that being video recorded “as just a joke”. Even if it never made it to the internet think how mortifying that can be. That is the Bullshit that needs to stop and unfortunately Ravi is guilty of that invasion of privacy – I agree he should not be held liable for Clementi’s death – that was up to Clementi.

      Aceman – don’t think in the future Natalia will not be going out with some douche-y boyfriend. The dude will have other douchebag boyfriends that will be saying “man that Natalia Carolla is hot. If you can video her giving you a blowjob – you will be da man” So this douche-y boyfriend hides his iPhone in his room and one night when Natalia comes over to give him head he records it. Let’s say he even TF’s her so her can boast to his friends about her great rack — and then finishes in her face. Even if the douche did not upload to the internet and just showed off to his dipshit buddies on his phone – would you be cool and say – “well it’s just some teens pranking each other…” If it was not a gay boy’s privacy but a straight girls’ privacy that was violated – would that still be just a healthy prank?

      • Zapoli

        One questions what criteria the moderator brings to bear.

    • Bobman

      1) Adam lived with roommates, why does the setting make a difference?

      2) No one broadcast or tweeted anyone’s sexual acts. Read the actual facts of the story. That was teh whole point. I completely agree that if this dude’s “sexual acts” were “broadcast or tweeted” there should be some sort of punishment (10 years jail time? NOt even close).

  40. RJ

    Ben Schwartz can bring it…Get it on! Not many people can keep up with Ace, but Schwartz is great.

  41. JessMan

    lol @ mandatory MEATing

  42. BAK

    This New Yorker article goes into much more detail about the case. Adam isn’t quite on target with this one: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/02/06/120206fa_fact_parker

  43. museum-mama


    umm Adam, Dinosaur Train already exists and my kid’s addicted.

  44. evan

    Ben Schwartz was top notch very good pod

  45. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee03-29-2012

    whispering through the godaddy add, great way to not get the point across…

  46. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee03-29-2012


  47. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee03-29-2012

    I saw the end of an E show on Amy Winehouse and Alison was on there, did they promote it because I missed it?

  48. Anal Ripper
    Anal Ripper03-29-2012

    The same thing is happening with the Trayvon Martin case. Media’s perpetuating the victimization side of it when all the facts of the attack aren’t even out yet.

    • Graham Wellington
      Graham Wellington03-29-2012

      Exxxxxxxactly… Adam perpetuated some of the Trayvon myths a week or so ago and it’s exactly the same idea… the media jumping to conclusions.

      Bill Maher and Dr. Drew had a disgraceful performance on Drew’s show this week on exactly this subject. Let’s hear what a grand jury has to say, but can we point out that putting a picture of a kid against a mugshot of a man, when the “kid” is a 17 year old 6′ + football player, shows maybe a little bit of bias?

      Exactly the same story. I hope Adam addresses this because there’s been 4 weeks straight of this and only now is the media starting to paint a more balanced picture, perhaps the picture that the police saw the night they arrived.

  49. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee03-29-2012

    somebody stole the TV

  50. dcstanley23

    Great guest – need to have him on more often!

  51. May Kadoodee
    May Kadoodee03-29-2012

    Our latest dog Maggie (rat terrier) will eat anything but our last dog Lobo (german sheppard) would, if we gave him a Big Mac, not eat the “special sauce, lettuce, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun” just the meat and cheese, it was funny, he would not any other part of the sandwich.

  52. Huck

    I’m proud of Alison holding back as much as she did during Adam’s college roommate rant. I could feel the silent jaw clinching…

    • stnuntrnd

      And I admire Adam’s patience with Alison’s failure to grasp the points he was making …

      • malcolm

        when you hear Adam doing, “hmm mmm” that is usually after Alison doesn’t get his point. You can tell she doesn’t get it because she gives examples of what she thinks he means and it’s a little or way off.
        I still like Alison, she is a good news gal and lets Adam does his thing…she doesn’t shit on his points or really challenge him on stuff like Bald Bryan, she mentions what she thinks her role is on her podcast.

  53. dimeforscale

    Our nightmare is over! It feels like it’s been forever since an actual funny guest has been on.

  54. Jay

    did Adam really just say that the US is the least racist, least homophobic and least sexist country in the world? really? REALLY? Are you fucking kidding me? What is he basing this on? Has he travelled extensively and spent long lengths of time in many other countries in order to understand the complex social interactions between the sexes, the gays and the straights and the men and the women (and others)?

    Adam, please, please, please stop talking about social issues that you have no idea about and are wildly uninformed. And quit saying how the US is the best at everything. The only thing the US is best at is boasting about how they are the best at everything.

    BTW, love the show, keep up the good work.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-30-2012

      Have you ever been to the Middle East?

  55. Romulus

    Loved Ben, thought it was funny Adam almost called him Brad at the end.

  56. Jesse

    Ben was awesome, that was the best show I’ve heard I think. You should get him and DAG on at the same time!

  57. DES

    nothing like starting the show w/ a rant about some alleged media overhype regarding gay paranoia

    remember when the ace show was a good time? where is the laughs? the humor? the humor equivalent to a good cup of coffee first thing in the AM???

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-30-2012

      Listen to something else.

  58. Good Gravy!
    Good Gravy!03-29-2012

    FANTASTIC guest. Ben brought it. Loved it.

  59. Rekab

    The US is easily the least racist and homophobic country on the planet? What about every other developed first world nation? Is the US less homophobic than the 10 countries that have nationwide recognition of same sex marriage?

  60. Graham Wellington
    Graham Wellington03-29-2012

    Rhavi has an awful defense attorney. How could you ever let that case get to a jury? No 12 people are going to be willing to render a verdict that could be perceived as turning a blind eye to homophobia. Not in our current cultural climate.

  61. JT

    No idea who Ben Shwartz was, but SO NICE to hear a guest w/ BiG energy & great chemistry w/ the Ace Man! Bring him back again next week!!!

  62. RoyalDryness

    Adam, let’s get a handle on the hyperbole. There are many nations that are far more sexist. racist, and/or homophobic than the U.S. However, there are many nations that are far LESS sexist. racist and/or homophobic than the U.S. We are somewhere in the middle, probably closer to the less. We do have room to improve. You live in California, one of the most liberal states in the U.S. and as a state they voted down gay marriage. When gay marriage can’t get a majority of people to approve of it in the most likely place to approve of it imagine what level of support and acceptance it has in conservative states. People still will shy away from calling a guy named Tyrone Williams for an interview when his resume is equal to a guy name David Williams because they assume Tyrone is black (which is probably is). Many employers will promote a man over a women. Sure its not the 1920s when blacks had to go through a different door, gays were pretty much expected to be nonexistent and women were expected to be in the kitchen, but we still have some work to do.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle03-30-2012

      I’m trying to get a handle on the hyperbole…
      Black guys don’t like watermelon or play basketball.
      Asians don’t take pictures and are good drivers.
      Middle East guys don’t drive taxis or own 7-11’s.
      Jews don’t have all the money or live with their mothers.
      White guys don’t have small dorks and are good dancers.

  63. Ballz

    #1: SNL has sucked for over 10 years
    #2: How much coke/speed was this guest on???

  64. Micah

    Great guest. Team player, and obviously listens to the show.

  65. PB

    Great guest. Great chemistry. Make him a regular

  66. Steve Hatchett
    Steve Hatchett03-30-2012

    Yea, but Jimmy KImmel sucks.

  67. Marc


  68. sam jones
    sam jones03-30-2012

    Great episode and great guest. Not too many can hang with Adam but Ben was fantastic. Had me laughing out loud. I am now a Ben Schwartz fan – Bring Ben back for more.

  69. Ben

    The first time MAY have been an accident, but then the next time he posted on twitter that “it is happening again” and gave everyone instructions on how to watch it. Of course in an interview the defendant is going to say it was all a big misunderstanding and he is being scapegoated. It’s ironic that Adam unleashed a diatribe about the media misleading people, because I’m sure a lot of people who listened to this podcast have now been misled as well.

  70. JLSmoove

    Ben is a high school friend of mine. I’ve never been jealous of his success, ever. That all just changed.

  71. Brad

    With regards to the gay roommate suicide case, I don’t know if Adam is so technologically retarded that he didn’t understand the part about the roommate texting everyone, putting it on ustream, and then Twittering the URL; or, if Adam is just trying to do a spin so ridiculous that it would embarrass even Rush Limbaugh. Either way, it’s a grossly incompetent misrepresentation of the facts and reality in general. It just reeks of Adam having an agenda. I don’t think Adam is homophobic. I think he’s just reactionary.

  72. hutch1200

    So hutch is walking out of Autozone when a reporter get up in his grill
    “So hutch, ya ever suck a dick?”
    WTF, Hells NO!
    But, but…I just really like pussy!
    “I notice you’re eating a piece of jerky, why not Skittles? You’re a Racist too!”
    Perky whore reporter smiles @ camera as hutch is lead to Re-ED camp…..”Back to you, from the mean, non diverse, hate filled, hard scrabble, streets of Yorba Linda”

  73. Yes,and..No

    I thoroughly enjoyed the interview portion not realizing who Ben Schwartz was. Now that I see the pic, and realize that was Jean Ralphio I’m even more excited! Parks And Rec missed him this season.

  74. Tim

    This Podcast is painful. Rant less then 10% of the time.

  75. Kathy

    Ben Schwartz was great guest.

  76. chuckiegorman

    I see a lot of George Zimmerman fans here.
    That’s scary.

  77. Yossarian

    Bring this guy back often – clicks well with Adam!

  78. marcogee

    ‘Cyber Adam’ should really be a staple of the show at least once a week!

  79. Fancypants

    Adam and this Ben guy are great together.

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