Artie Lange Live from Caroline’s NYC


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Show Summary

Artie Lange is on stage with Adam and the gang right from the top of the show. Adam talks about Sonny’s kindergarten graduation, and recalls the time he got a D in gym. He and Artie also talk about their prom experiences, and review the benefits of bullying. The guys then take some audience questions, and Adam talks about why he’ll never move to New York.

Alison opens the news discussing Obama’s new immigration policy, and a reported case of the plague in Oregon. The guys also talk about teens tending to smoke more weed over cigarettes, and a pair of lungs that was found on an LA sidewalk. Adam recalls when body parts were found near his house, and also jokes about STD commercials. The guys then discuss a list of America’s Manliest Cities, and Verne Troyer’s sex tape. As the show wraps up, the gang chats about the world burping championship, and Artie’s love life.


Check out the Nick & Artie show, listen live at http://NickAndArtie.com. You can also follow Artie on Twitter @ArtieQuitter.


Longest Burp

Show Credits

Producer: Mike Lynch
Producer: Mike Dawson
Audio/Voice Over/Post-Production: Mike Dawson
Newsgirl: Alison Rosen
Sound Effects: Bryan Bishop
Associate Producer: Gary Smith
Technical Director: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

Image Gallery

  1. TheFakeNope

    Get it on ! I’m first !

  2. Chet Lemon
    Chet Lemon06-18-2012

    One thing that Adam Carolla and Artie Lange have in common are minds possessed of solid comedy instincts, but not a lot of information or genuine intellectual curiosity. It sorta works for both of them, but only to a point.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      You were my favorite player when I was a young White Sox fan.

    • Shwagg

      I’d like to see Artie become a regular guest.

  3. Timmy Ryan
    Timmy Ryan06-18-2012


    I’m REALLY disappointed in this podcast; mainly regarding your comments-or lack thereof about Obama’s immigration pandering on Friday. I’ve listened to your rants about how L.A. is becoming Mexico, and how illegal immigrants are *fing things up for the rest of us; but all you can muster up about Obama going around congress and issuing an order like a dictator is “I’ll buy that”.. REALLY?

    I realize you have a book that just came out ( which I pre-ordered and read in one day, btw- great read) and maybe your publisher told you to avoid controversy to avoid bad press, but come on man, grow a pair of balls and speak your mind. If “I’ll buy that” is the best you can do- you’re going to lose the audience that supports you.

    • Jam

      You’re really disappointed that Adam did not discuss immigration policies on a COMEDY podcast? Then listen to a different free podcast, Timmy.

      • susie

        I’m with you Jam, I want to hear comedy

    • skymaster t
      skymaster t06-18-2012

      I don’t see the problem in letting people born in America who are productive members of society become citizens. Adam sounds like he feels the same. That, and I’m sure Adam’s probably tired of hearing the president get bashed constantly by conservatives. As am I. I’m not even a huge fan of the president, but it’s like many people are trying to exact revenge for the Bush-bashing that took place.

      • SkyPilo

        No, don’t agree with you. I think most people are criticizing Obama because he has done nothing but meander around, fail, squander time, come up with these ‘patchwork’ solutions which somehow turn into a bunch of go-nowhere problems.
        Even this thing (this immigration thing) was cheap ‘vote-buying’, bypassed the process, was scammed up to patch together special-interests for the election.
        I do believe many ‘conservative’ type people DO feel some need to shout louder since most of the mainstream media protects Obama, holds him to much lower standards than they would Romney, often downplays Obama mistakes,
        Its just simply because Obama is a failed, do-nothing, ineffective President on his own merits.

        • MarketAndChurch

          Obama passed healthcare, Clinton could not. He passed one of the largest spending stimulus plans in world history. He passed financial regulation, he ended the wars, qtf are you talking about? Disagree with what he’s done… that’s fine, but if he truly is a do nothing president, then I’m sure you’d be fine if we had him back again, just as an executive version of our do-nothing republican-lead congress.

          The mainstream media is on Obama’s side, that’s fine, it’s made Fox News the number one news channel(more then 50% of the market), and Wall Street Journal the most widely read paper in the nation because that is the only outlets us conservatives have. It’s funneled us to those limited outlets, but that’s not an excuse to regurgitate pundit-spin. There’s a reason many of us feel we need to get him out of office, and its exactly because he’s the opposite of a “failed, do-nothing, ineffective President on his own merits.”

      • MarketAndChurch

        I’m with you on that. A lot of these immigrants are American in every way except for citizenship. The ones that don’t fall prey to the shitty, born-in-America street culture that pervades much of hispanic youth life make some of the finest citizens. Their parents are the backbone of the restaurant industry, and some of the best cooks in the world, hands down, Europe has nothing on us. They are an admirable people with a hard-work ethic that most Americans lack, honest, family-oriented, religious, etc. I love Adam’s jokes because I also know he’s a nice guy. He’ll talk shit about every race and its fun standup, but he’s not a douche to the hispanic waiter or flight attendant unless they deserve it. But I really wish he would reconsider on immigration.

    • Grandma Capriatto Kadoode
      Grandma Capriatto Kadoode06-18-2012

      This show was recorded before the Obama executive order debacle…

      • May Kadoode
        May Kadoode06-18-2012

        You tell em Grandma!

    • BEATnick

      this was recorded last tuesday so that hadn’t happened yet.

    • Mr. Schweppes
      Mr. Schweppes06-18-2012

      Do you realize you’re the only lunatic on here that’s trying to turn this comment board into a political page. Save your comments for the Limbaugh message board. Nobody is going to be crying when you stop listening to the podcast.

      What a nut.

      • Steve

        I agree there is a time and place and this is not the place. But we see through your caliing everyone crazy who doesn’t side with your ideas of politics. You are coming off more nutty than the person you attempted to insult.

        When a nut insults a “nut” it is in fact a compliment.

    • Chet Lemon
      Chet Lemon06-18-2012

      Well, to be fair, a sizable portion of the audience that supports him is comprised of ignorant bigots, so maybe some of those people aren’t worth appeasing.

      • Stacey E
        Stacey E06-19-2012

        I don’t think it’s a logical assumption that realizing mexicans do nothing for our country means we’re ignorant bigots. Try working for a police department, or even a department store and look at all of the crime these people commit on a daily basis. I don’t think productive members of society sell heroin and cocaine out on the streets, do you? How about going into department stores and filling bags up with stolen merchandise with their kids in tow. How about all of the graffiti and the parking on the lawns that suddenly appears as soon as they invite themselves into what were once decent neighborhoods. I’m dissapointed that the president, and a whole batch of other people think that we’re required to babysit ignorant garbage because they can’t run their own country properly.
        And artie lange is now a mean old drunk. How dissapointing to listen to what he’s turned into.

        • Mat

          “I don’t think it’s a logical assumption that realizing mexicans do nothing for our country means we’re ignorant bigots.”

          Actually it does. The thought that “mexicans do nothing for our country” is exactly something that would classify you as an ignorant bigot. Pretty cut and dry there.

          • MarketAndChurch

            What if they can’t do noting for our country because there are no opportunities for them… ever visit a home depot or simply drive down the road through much of east-bay, bay-area California? Something is not bigoted just because you don’t like it. A bigot is intolerant not just to people, places, or things, but to reason, fact, reality, and logic as well. Mexicans do a lot of amazing things for the country, but they are also a growing burden because we cannot move them fast enough into the middle class. First generation immigrants suffer from a low quality of life, but we’re seeing the bar remain for second, third, and sometimes forth generation hispanics, and this is not good for them, or for the country.

    • The Great Spoodeni
      The Great Spoodeni06-18-2012


    • reb

      He’s going to lose the three or four pathetic listeners who need him to recite their preferred talking point about immigration? b.f.d.

    • MarketAndChurch

      I don’t think he should be dabbling into politics as much unless he’s making fun of someone.

      LA is a shithole there’s no way of dancing around that, and a lot of it has to do with an immigrant population that we cannot move into the middle class fast enough. The black community had a powerful entrepreneurial drive through the 90’s, along with the Asians, but we cannot have all of these poor mexican immigrants coming in and at the same time job opportunities shrinking for both them and the middle class (California is no longer a destination for illegal immigrants).

      Aceman is spot on for actually criticizing this, why do we tolerate the shity public education system that turns out the criminals that then plaque the streets of LA? Why do we tolerate graffiti on walls, why do we tolerate high hispanic teen pregnancy rates, high drop out rates, high gang-affiliation rates, this is more racist then calling them out for their shitty behavior, that you and I, the taxpayer, will have to subsidize.

      We need to get some of these hispanics out of LA, move them to Salt Lake, Houston, Seattle, New Orleans, Raleigh, or somewhere that is actually doing well… somewhere that actually needs labor, somewhere that can give them upward mobility, and enter the American dream instead of leaving them in that dump of a city to rot.

  4. reb


  5. Mark


    New York is a shit hole.

    -Everyone that lives anywhere else

    • mnoswad1

      I lived there for 11 years………..10 years too long. Everyone thinks it’s a shit hole……even people that live there, they just wont admit it to outsiders.

  6. HR

    Parrot tongue

  7. Grandma Capriatto Kadoode
    Grandma Capriatto Kadoode06-18-2012

    Looks like a my Artie is still getting his share of sausage & peppers, broccoli raub, osso buco, bruschetta and proscuitt… I lova my big fata Artie…

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      Listening to him wheeze you can tell he’s still getting his share of Marlboro’s too.

  8. Colin

    Artie Lange is terrible and unlistenable. Please refrain from booking this no talent hack again.

    • skymaster t
      skymaster t06-18-2012

      Artie was hilarious. Especially that whole fro yo tirade. “So you’re to busy to say zen and gurt?”

      • GOD

        I dig Artie, but he keeps telling the same jokes over and over again.

  9. AFan

    Johnny Galecki is an actor, not an alternative comedian.

    I like Artie… but sometimes he says really dumb stuff.

    • skymaster t
      skymaster t06-18-2012

      Sometimes he tries way too hard. It’s like he feels like he has to say something and says the first thing he thinks of. Still, about 80% of the stuff he says is pretty good.

  10. Gregers

    Good god does Artie Lange suck.

    “Sounds like he was trying to pull his penis out of a stray cat’s mouth.” What? How did you make that leap? Boo.

  11. Rauca

    Artie Lange is a huge pull and shows up as a favor, he probably gets $20,000 and way up for appearances – he isn’t going to get excited and burn a bunch of A material for a bunch of douchbags getting a free podcast. I liked it and appreciate seeing the big guns.

    More Deaf Frat Guy.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      Rauca hit the nail on the head.

  12. Zeke

    So Artie is mad at Leonard? Why? How is he losing profits as a result of that guy? Odd target for him.

  13. Zeke

    And NYC at least is a great tourist attraction. AWFUL place to live for more than a long weekend. After 3 days you cannot wait to get back through that tunnel.

  14. Rawb

    I guarantee if you throw the avocado seeds in your guacamole, it’ll stay green for a WEEK!! Try it and see!

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      The more you know.

  15. Good Gravy!
    Good Gravy!06-18-2012

    Artie shows off his guy’s-guy quick wit in this episode. Good to hear him on the show.

  16. goatfucker

    this was actually pretty good, alot better than the live webcast with artie last week.

  17. dave

    Artie is a funny fuck. you can’t teach comedy like that.

  18. jim

    Jenny Hoover….great prom date name!

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      Good name for T’s mouth.

  19. joe cotton
    joe cotton06-18-2012

    Could only stand about 15 minutes of this before I had to turn it off due to Artie’s unbearable voice and unfunny comedy.

  20. Dingo

    Love you Aceman. Thanks for all the free entertainment you’ve given me since I found out about the podcast almost two years ago. Besides the DAG appearances one of my personal favorites is Pete Holmes on January 17, 2012. Highly recommend your new listeners go back and check that one out. Anyway, haven’t missed an episode yet, but I’m bailing for now. I’ll listen now and again if I don’t have a good book on tape for my long commute, but I’m not going to make it a priority any longer. Hope everything keeps going strong for you but it ain’t doing it for me anymore. No need for a long diatribe, you don’t need me, you have plenty of fans, but I’m detecting a lack of passion. Getting a bit formulaic. etc. etc. It’s the small things. Complaining about bikers on the Brooklyn Bridge? Really? Look at the pic you posted. A good 2/3 of the path is marked for pedestrians. Perhaps evidence that you are spread too thin and are struggling for something fresh? Maybe cut back to less episodes per week? Anyway, like I said. Loved the show in the past. Good luck.

    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-19-2012

      Adam doesn’t read.

  21. Jonathan

    Surprised to see so many negative comments on this one. I thought this was one of the best shows in a while, as I love both Adam and Artie. I usually think the live shows aren’t as good, either, and this one was still great. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

  22. Baltazar

    Huge ACE fan but I have to admit I was disappointed in this podcast. Artie just didn’t do It for me.

  23. The Great Spoodeni
    The Great Spoodeni06-18-2012

    Adam’s prom date looks THRILLED to be there

  24. RJ

    When Artie spoke about his ex girlfriend I wonder if he was referring to, as Grandma Caprio would say: “Danar” ?

  25. Hugh

    The funniest podcast I’ve heard since Ace man on Pete Holmes show. I laughed up a lung!

  26. DrAwkward

    Artie was much better than the last two guys. I could actually detect there was a guest on the show this time!

  27. DrAwkward

    Alison looks so delighted in that pic. God I just want to kiss that sweet face.

  28. Tim MacDonald
    Tim MacDonald06-19-2012

    I love all the people whose raisin d’être is to let you know they hate Artie – personalized Artie’s frailties as an imposition and betrayal of them and don’t understand how weird that is. Like hating daddy for leaving mommy or something.

    I generally much prefer studio episodes, but this was a great live episode. Aceman did this one right, he didn’t steamroll or shout and try to do a 90 minute monologue. He let the guest participate.

    Show’s still in a semi pro state, which is both endearing but a little puzzling.. I’m surprised they take so many chances relying on the house equipment when they travel.

    • reb

      (Raison, not raisin.)

    • Brother P-Touch
      Brother P-Touch06-19-2012


  29. Hillbilly Bill
    Hillbilly Bill06-19-2012

    These live podcast aren’t very good. The show was on a roll for a while there, but why not have a fill in host or a long form interview or just a best of show. I actually wanted to go see Adam live but after these live shows, no way. Seems like they just go up there are bullshit for an hour and twenty minutes. Very few people can do it that way and while i love Adam, he can’t do it…at least for an hour plus. Adam is at his best when he has something to bounce off of. This all seems very low rent.

    • ras

      I hate to agree but these live shows need to be tightened up a bit. By that I do not mean shortened but PLEASE do a little prep Aceman. I know prep goes against your religion but you really can not go on stage and repeat your old stories and hope you can bank another 90 minutes of show. The Nerd-Walking segment was a train wreck. I am not sure what it was like live but to the podcast listeners all you were getting was a lot of audience background noise and the long pregnant silences Alison seems to love so much. Who thought Nerd-walking was a good live segment that translates well over podcast? It was sad when Adam was trying to get the audience to participant and all it did was grind the show down slower. Also Adam, if you are going to do “What Can’t Adam Complain About.” and you are going to select a topic from an audience member – then the next words out of your mouth needs to be complaining about the topic – not some tangent about some other shit. If you want to freestyle – then go right ahead but then please don’t say you are going to be playing “What Can’t Adam Complain About.” and then not complain.

      Your aversion to planning ahead and preparing is your cash register for radio and regular podcasts but an achilles heel when you have a live audience in front of you. Doing a live show is just different then talking among a handful of people in a radio booth or studio – it just is. Yo seem to want to convince yourself you can just do the same stuff that you do on a regular podcast and it really becomes a hit or miss without tightening up the production in front of a live audience.

  30. Matt

    Anybody bitching and whining…get over yourself. If you don’t like it move on, and if you’re going to complain at least make a decent point. The ego driven Dingo post above is a perfect case in point. Enjoy your incredibly important commute, hopefully you wreck and take out a van full of ugly women and Sanduskys.

  31. Andy91

    I haven’t been a huge fan of Artie before, but I think he brought it this episode. Many funny lines and a couple of Robert Schimmel (sp?) jokes thrown in for good measure.

  32. Steve Hatchett
    Steve Hatchett06-20-2012

    He needs to take up heroin again.

  33. elissakatherine

    Artie’s weezy laugh made my day.

  34. sloozen1


    • Poochie's Uncle
      Poochie's Uncle06-21-2012

      If I give you some money would you stop typing all in caps?

      • atticus finch
        atticus finch06-25-2012

        hahahah give him so money to stop typing in caps. that is comedy gold

  35. a tom kane plot
    a tom kane plot06-21-2012

    I’m a big fan, but sometimes its obvious that this guy doesn’t have a clue. Very nice comparing puerto ricans to mexicans. Purto Ricans are US citizens when born.

    Also,is it me or is it totally weird that this guy doesn’t use soap or shampoo? poor Lynnette

  36. Rich

    just listened to this one — you’ve got to figure out a way for you and Artie to do more shows together — you guys work at the same comedy speed — it was great listening to you play off each other.

  37. Bosh Spice
    Bosh Spice06-22-2012

    I agree w tom kane, carolla has become very sloppy and his facts are always fucked up. Plus, is it me or this guy is a full blown alcoholic? Drew needs to lend him a hand. Yeah I bet he smells like shit too. Btw, I still listen (depending on the guest)

  38. The Hoss
    The Hoss06-25-2012

    The porcelain punisher.

  39. atticus finch
    atticus finch06-25-2012

    arties funny, but dude is not real real healthy. musta smoked 50 million cigs in his day

  40. James

    I like Artie but new to Adam’s pod. Does he always talk over all his guests? He brings Artie in as a guest and then talks for 90% of the time barely letting Artie talk.

  41. Cal

    Artie Lange is a comedy great

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